Age is on my back

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written by DLBG on 2007-Jun-18.

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This morning I looked in the mirror and saw an irreversible bulge on my back coming around onto my waist, aka fat. I once saw a gift card saying Happy 40th Birthday, on it there was a picture of a woman brushing her teeth and her bottom jiggling. So the more years you add, the more jiggling and bulges you get.

Now men don’t have a think to worry about, the older they get they better they look, some of them at least. They will also go further by asking you what you are worried about and why as a woman you are worrying about the bulge on your back. Hypocrites, hmmm, they are the same ones who trade you in for a newer model once that bulge makes its way to the front. Oops now you have a belly, a paunch is only cute in men.

Now you may all say I am paranoid but hmmm why do all my exes have new girlfriends 5 years younger than me or more. Go figure. Mind you, I am sure I will be a fabulous 40 year old when I get there, but it will still be 40 and you can only get horny young toads at that point, wanting to spend your money.

When I was 19, I was skinny, cute and broke. Now that I am older I'm far from skinny but gorgeous and not broke. So I'll take Fat and Glamorous for a $1000 Alex.

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  1. You're only as old as you feel my friend.

    by Leon 2007-Jun-18 

  2. So you say, please read paragraph two again.

    by DLBG 2007-Jun-19 

  3. [innocent]CORRECTION LEON: you are only as young as [the person] you feel!!
    So go on and be 21 again.. feels gooood!

    by Island Spice 2007-Jun-22 

  4. Cmon 40 is the new 20, which makes 20 the new 10 and your exes, pedophiles... [friendly]

    by OddOne 2007-Jun-18 

  5. lololololololol, I like that one

    by DLBG 2007-Jun-19 

  6. good lil story but i just cant shake the whole idea of jiggling out of my head.
    its going to haunt me now. jiggle jiggle. oh god no. [hysterical]

    by me 2007-Jun-19 

  7. lolololololol, I saw that card about 4 years ago and I haven't forgotten it.

    by DLBG 2007-Jun-19 

  8. I have news for you. Those young ladies aren't after those older men for their looks. They're after the *bling* baby.

    Older men are just stupid enough to believe that the young hotties actually like them for who they are. Idiots. [upset]

    A woman's body may get a little more rounder with age, but men's brains shrink with age! [friendly]

    by Ann 2007-Jun-19 

  9. Men don't really have a problem with that, Ann. They are only after hot, desirable young cootchy. The men get what they want, and so do the women. Fair exchange, I say...

    by mad bull 2007-Jun-19 

  10. Umm, I'd just like to clarify one thing: a paunch is NOT cute on men. If anything, it should be more acceptable on women because we have the childbearing tools and all dem tings inside there taking up space. You try stuffing a uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries and the like into a little space and see if there isn't a bulge.

    That's the double-standard that makes men think that they can let themselves go and still get a woman.

    Sorry, but I doan want nobody belly rubbing 'gainst the small of my back when I'm winin' (at 50) in carnival.

    by Simplenigma 2007-Jun-19 

  11. Interesting post, DBLG. Only thing, I agree with SE above, paunches are not cute in men, in fact I detest my own and plan to wage a war of attrition against it as soon as I am done with this cup of ice cream.

    @ SE, the thing is, men can and do get women, paunch or not. With some women, its all about the bank account, baby!

    by mad bull 2007-Jun-19 

  12. Mi know...and is ongle because of gravelicious women why dem can get 'way wid paunch. Cho!

    by Simplenigma 2007-Jun-20 

  13. Hooray fi gravelisous woman! ;) Gotta luv 'em!

    by Mad Bull 2007-Jun-20 

  14. wait.. her bottom jiggling. was it a hollow graphic type card. cause that person went through a lot of trouble to make you knwo you getting fat :lol lol lol.. I'm sorry i dont mean to be mean (i hate when that happens)

    by taylor 2007-Jun-20 

  15. It wasn't my card my dear, I saw it in a gift shop. I am actually far from 40 but still looking at what is to come.

    by DLBG 2007-Jun-21 

  16. DLBG- I know a couple guys that like a lil baby fat. Maybe you need to change out that model, it has prolly done its time. The "in" thing now is older girls=younger guys. I have a 20 and a 17 year old that is currently going bonkers over me. Either way when u teaching someone somthing, u feel more appreciated. hint [friendly]

    by Tami 2007-Jun-20 

  17. Agreed. 21 is the new 30 in my book...Hehe.

    I don't have any fantasies about teaching anybody anyting doah. Mi nuh have the patience.

    If yuh 21 and know wha yuh doin' then we could talk. LOL.

    Sorry, this conversation taking a whoooole different turn. :)

    by Simplenigma 2007-Jun-20 

  18. a guy that would trade you in was never worth your time or energy, don't you think? The trick is to spot that a long way off(and one can never be sure, can one?).And there are worse things than getting fat. [upset]
    I will never forget what my aunt's husband said to her after her mastectomy. She asked him how her chest looked now that one of her breasts was gone. His response: better than mine. If I could be sure a man loved me like that, I know I wouldn't have to worry about a little fat. [friendly]

    by Gods Child 2007-Jun-20 

  19. Hmmm, you say that now, wait your bulge appears and your husband of 20 years leaves you with your 4 kids for a young skinny chick who has no kids to give her any fat, after he was quite a good person in the beginning, then we can talk.

    by DLBG 2007-Jun-21 

  20. that happened to you?

    by Gods Child 2007-Jun-22 

  21. No but I have opened my mind as a result of others people's experiences.

    by DLBG 2007-Jun-25 

  22. And here i was thinking that life begins at 40, drat! maintain maintain maintain yourself, you can give the 2o's and 30's a run for their money if you put in the effort.

    by Gish 2007-Jul-04