written by owen, 2 hour ago
The man that knows something knows that he knows nothing at all. Everyone is secretly hoping they win the lottery in one way or the other. There is a hidden need or want for something inside of everyone. If its a need or a want is always the point of confusion. I just want to get through the day without hydroplaning into an unmovable object at 110 kmph. Life is all about physics - I have said this before. You are here, we are here until we are not. No use talking about what you plan to do next year when there are perfectly good things to talk about right now - in this instant. Hold your breath and feel the pressure build up inside you chest.
I was programming some stuff which I do for work until I came upon a problem that I could not solve by just being clever. These problems are the worse kind because I know I am no good and my limits are as clear as a brand new glass windows. The sun in the sky knows how I feel. I stare blankly at the wall hoping that a stroke of genius will free me from ignorance. I might have to just leave the problem and move until something else. Why stress yourself out?
Somethings I just have to avoid completely for my own sanity. I can - not - deal with - not even - one more addiction. I wont take your expensive fish fry ticket not because I do not like fish or do not want to support your meaningless cause but I can see far down the road and I am not about that life of suffering. Delayed suffering is pretty much the worse things you can do to someone. Good intentions aside I would rather say no right now that supper the disappointment which is certain to come down the road. Of course you have to spend you time doing something.
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written by owen, 10 days ago
There are some who would rather be loved, needed and depended on to give a love they cannot give. Than for them to be lonely. I just want my days to go by easily. The world is filled with too much stress. There is no sense in creating mini struggles within ourselves. Though some might find it entertaining but I would rather watch the wind blow the leaves around than be a leaf blowing in the wind. Chaos is only fun while you have the strength to fight it.
I bought some CDs from a man selling used stuff by the side of the road - Music CDs. When buying anything used in Jamaica you have to wonder if they were stolen from someone with awful taste in music. They were cheap so I bought a couple that had the least scratches that could find. Old music CDs are like finding old pants that still fit; you know you shouldn't be wearing them but they will never let you down.
I bought a really expensive appliance recently because I became passionate about getting something good (watching online videos, doing research) as opposed to getting something affordable and common. I become annoyingly passionate about stuff at times but I get through most time, sometimes not. I have to pump my brakes because I fear that my passions are a ship made only to crash upon the rocks of disappointment. But I push through because when it comes down to it without fear, experience, drive and passion there is nothing. Bueaty and Nonsense.
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written by owen, Wed, 21st Jun at 11:19 am
I am churning through the year - words have become hard. 2 months so far and I am not even sure the year has even started. Well make that 4 months and another circle around the sun. Time makes you bolder for sure but I smarter? I do not know.
"I will love till the end of time" is probably all that I can promise nowadays as I walk through metal detectors. The words I said could be silver. I am still getting called weird alot and I am not sure about it or anything at all. Am I still loving in the wrong way? How can a man love like that? Tina Turner.
Most times I just want to go home and sleep away my troubles or do what I like. If you insert yourself into the struggle you might be setting up yourself for a war. I thought the point was for your days to go easy. What is anything worth, time, space, bueaty, monkeys, salvation, freedom and what are you willing to pay for it? What are you willing to give up. As I always say; if it makes you happy.
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written by owen, Sat, 20th May at 9:47 pm
I am hyper aware of my own mortality, the number of branches that are in my tree. The world around me lives only by grace. We are not special. This has only gotten worse as I get older and my tolerance level has changed to the point where I have to see five steps down the road or I am not even going to jump on that train to hell that you are so passionate about.
Fools and charlatans are now growing out of the woodwork like a fungus, while I am simply trying to get through the day. A train to wreck. They say we should all strive to be like Jesus but I am a humble man; knowledge, wisdom and understanding are all I seek. I solve problems and time is money.
At some point in time you have to stop chasing society because you never really catch it. If a hand dem a bruk then you will have to pop necks to keep up, shake them down and break them like bread. There is no end, the more you have - the more you want and the more you give the more they take.
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written by owen, Wed, 10th May
It has been roughly a month since I have written anything. Literally constipated does not even describe the state I am in. I have not been spreading my passions even. Allowed myself to be highly focused on an impossible mission while neglecting my numerous other pursuits. I must stop but I cannot like a monkey in a forest with infinite trees. Chaos reaching out and grabbing me by the neck.
You have to spend your life doing something. It is clearly obvious that nothing really matters and people are just building little world blankets in which to wrap themselves into while everything else burns by the heat of the sun. I am the king of my own little world and everyone else is wondering how much income tax I am charging my citizens. I am not charging them anything. I am just really bad at it. We are just chilling out here trying to find out the best way to escape or achieve ultimate knowledge, wisdom and understanding. Obviously we are not perfect and might never be.
I just had to push this one out, like a baby 3 months overdue. I have a splitting headache and I am not sure if its the words or the fact that I did not take my lunch time break to stare into the distance. I am almost done. Just another sentence. Publish or perish. I have a few unfinished trees which I need to climb but for now I will settle with just this one until I get the will to let go and move on.
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Mad Hieronymus Bull commented: Second cup of coffee, now I'm feeling fine! Me a Joe Grine, Trump's wife look fine, me a make she sip my coffee, then miago kill her wid wine. ... read 1 more
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