written by owen, 2 hour ago
Everybody needs a hobby. In a world with so much to do its not surprising that people will gravitate to anything in order to past the time like a rouge asteroid flying through space only to become entangled by a star. We all need something to love. Most people do not even realise the hobby that they have and most other people could care less. Eventually everyone comes to terms with what is real as opposed to what they dream about or what they hope for.
The depth and circumference of our "worlds" vary from time to time just like our hobbies. Who can really know what you are thinking about right at this moment or tomorrow? Everyone spends thier time creating little worlds in which they live. Sometimes we exist in other people's worlds. Sometimes worlds spiral around each other in a delicate balance. Other times worlds collide and destroy each other forever.
It has all been done before - everything. The only thing you can hope to achieve is that knowledge that you had some fun. Because you never know. Tomorrow you might become a different person with different hobbies, living in a different world and the things you once hold dear will be gone away.
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written by owen, Wed, 12th Jul at 3:27 pm
The man that knows something knows that he knows nothing at all. Everyone is secretly hoping they win the lottery in one way or the other. There is a hidden need or want for something inside of everyone. If its a need or a want is always the point of confusion. I just want to get through the day without hydroplaning into an unmovable object at 110 kmph. Life is all about physics - I have said this before. You are here, we are here until we are not. No use talking about what you plan to do next year when there are perfectly good things to talk about right now - in this instant. Hold your breath and feel the pressure build up inside you chest.
I was programming some stuff which I do for work until I came upon a problem that I could not solve by just being clever. These problems are the worse kind because I know I am no good and my limits are as clear as a brand new glass windows. The sun in the sky knows how I feel. I stare blankly at the wall hoping that a stroke of genius will free me from ignorance. I might have to just leave the problem and move until something else. Why stress yourself out?
Somethings I just have to avoid completely for my own sanity. I can - not - deal with - not even - one more addiction. I wont take your expensive fish fry ticket not because I do not like fish or do not want to support your meaningless cause but I can see far down the road and I am not about that life of suffering. Delayed suffering is pretty much the worse things you can do to someone. Good intentions aside I would rather say no right now that supper the disappointment which is certain to come down the road. Of course you have to spend you time doing something.
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written by owen, Sun, 02nd Jul
There are some who would rather be loved, needed and depended on to give a love they cannot give. Than for them to be lonely. I just want my days to go by easily. The world is filled with too much stress. There is no sense in creating mini struggles within ourselves. Though some might find it entertaining but I would rather watch the wind blow the leaves around than be a leaf blowing in the wind. Chaos is only fun while you have the strength to fight it.
I bought some CDs from a man selling used stuff by the side of the road - Music CDs. When buying anything used in Jamaica you have to wonder if they were stolen from someone with awful taste in music. They were cheap so I bought a couple that had the least scratches that could find. Old music CDs are like finding old pants that still fit; you know you shouldn't be wearing them but they will never let you down.
I bought a really expensive appliance recently because I became passionate about getting something good (watching online videos, doing research) as opposed to getting something affordable and common. I become annoyingly passionate about stuff at times but I get through most time, sometimes not. I have to pump my brakes because I fear that my passions are a ship made only to crash upon the rocks of disappointment. But I push through because when it comes down to it without fear, experience, drive and passion there is nothing. Bueaty and Nonsense.
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written by owen, Wed, 21st Jun at 11:19 am
I am churning through the year - words have become hard. 2 months so far and I am not even sure the year has even started. Well make that 4 months and another circle around the sun. Time makes you bolder for sure but I smarter? I do not know.
"I will love till the end of time" is probably all that I can promise nowadays as I walk through metal detectors. The words I said could be silver. I am still getting called weird alot and I am not sure about it or anything at all. Am I still loving in the wrong way? How can a man love like that? Tina Turner.
Most times I just want to go home and sleep away my troubles or do what I like. If you insert yourself into the struggle you might be setting up yourself for a war. I thought the point was for your days to go easy. What is anything worth, time, space, bueaty, monkeys, salvation, freedom and what are you willing to pay for it? What are you willing to give up. As I always say; if it makes you happy.
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written by owen, Sat, 20th May at 9:47 pm
I am hyper aware of my own mortality, the number of branches that are in my tree. The world around me lives only by grace. We are not special. This has only gotten worse as I get older and my tolerance level has changed to the point where I have to see five steps down the road or I am not even going to jump on that train to hell that you are so passionate about.
Fools and charlatans are now growing out of the woodwork like a fungus, while I am simply trying to get through the day. A train to wreck. They say we should all strive to be like Jesus but I am a humble man; knowledge, wisdom and understanding are all I seek. I solve problems and time is money.
At some point in time you have to stop chasing society because you never really catch it. If a hand dem a bruk then you will have to pop necks to keep up, shake them down and break them like bread. There is no end, the more you have - the more you want and the more you give the more they take.
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