written by owen, Sat, 03rd Jan 2015 at 9:47 am
Sometimes I have to endure other people's habits because they remind me that I am alive. I know I will miss them when they are gone. I need to start contrasting the things I write at certain times of my life, and certain times of the year. I bet I could correlate them and find a common thread. It has all been done before. When you thinking that I done.
As much as I revel in my moments of solitude they tend to creap up on me unexpectedly like a monkey in the jungle. Unplanned and never prayed for like a happy accident or mysterious hand reaching down, separating me from my troubles and the people I care about. Now is the winter of our discontent. And it must happen, why I do not know. I guess if I was not here now in a room full of people, drinking sorrel then I would not exist at all because there is no alternate scenario, nothing that I must wish for. There is only the here and now. I must learn.
Everyone has a level of tolerance for imperfection. The world is an imperfect place or else everyone would live forever until they drown in a sea of experiences, moments and feelings. Time moves on. There will always be ice cream in the fridge as long as there is someone to put back the same amount that you took out. Everything in balance. Eventually you will find comfort in the bad times knowing that they are just balancing out all the good times we've had. You are just a feeling.
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written by owen, Mon, 08th Dec 2014 at 8:40 pm
There is a point when you leave the frozen lap of luxury and step out into the blazing sun. You feel the warmth on your face. There are two people in this world; me, you and the ones we call "other people". There must be some way out. And even if you make it out for a while you will have to go back inside the frozen temple of slavery. You are free for a little while. Enjoy the sun, smell the flower in the garden, take a deep breath.
They stopped having having free refills of soda water. I am not sure how I feel about this. Ever since I saw the tank of CO2 that they store at the back of the building my attitude towards carbonated beverages have been less than fizzy. Life goes on. I did not put value to it in either case. One should put value into what a thing really is and not what they hope it will be in the future.
What have I learnt from writing these entries down? I am not sure. Maybe I will have enough to fill up a book or make a movie or something. Maybe in some future time someone will leave facebook and venture out into the desert and dig up old dinosaurs of the internet era. Who is to tell? What does it all mean? Does everything have to have a meaning? Must everything be understood? Can anything be understood? All I know is one day we will look back at all this and say something - hopefully something nice.
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written by owen, Sat, 15th Nov 2014 at 8:15 pm
My most authentic dreams involve my home town, and following someone through the streets. Sorta chasing them as they stop at different stores and shop at the supermarket then walk through the crowded streets. Sometimes I am right beside them and other times I am trying to catch up as they rush through the crowd to get to the taxi stand. I barely glimpse the back of their head as they weave through the crowd with bags in hand.
There is a constant battle between real life and the life that you have made up in your head. The world is a messy place unkind place constantly in transition. Some people cannot be saved and they cannot save you. We are all just getting by doing what we think is best, avoiding what we can. There is no time like the present - it may not seem that way now but in the future all this will be a distant dream. All in my brain. All in transition. You already have everything you need.
I can't really help the way I am. You have to be somebody, even if you don't know who you are. If you doan know me by now you probably never will. Though all is not lost. All the leaves are brown, everything in its season. Strip clubs and dollar bills, still got my money. Now is the winter of our discontent.
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mad bull commented: You misspelled 'doan'. It should have an umlaat over the 'n'. ... read 1 more
written by owen, Mon, 27th Oct 2014 at 5:48 pm
No matter where you are or what you doing you are wasting time. Might as well you waste time doing something you love to do instead of spending it wishing you were somewhere else, in another time or another body or space. Time is too short to spend it complaining, pretending, waiting, hoping for the future while regretting the past. Chill out and have a good time with good friends. All the hard work you do today means nothing if you end up doing the same thing tomorrow just to past the time in the rat race.
I don't know many women that smoke. I see them at parties and random uptown bars like swallow tail butterflies. They intrigue me somewhat like moths to a flame. Kinky reggae. She is probably a man eater, make you work hard, spend hard, make you want all of her love. To know me is to love me. You have to have your vice, embrace it, love it. I doan want the world I want you.
I figure that if a nigga cannot get money anymore and is content with just passing the time until the next high. Then who am I to say no? The poor aren't broke because they don't try hard, they are poor because they are paid shit wages. One day you will leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember and keep those memories safe from regret. Stay high all the time, so that you forget. The ball and chain. The iron balloon. The cross that one has to drag down the road. The train wreck waiting to happen.
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Tami commented: I Like this one, so true. ... read more
written by owen, Fri, 17th Oct 2014 at 9:45 am
There are a few things I hold dear. The things I love and the people I am passionate about. You only have so many hours in the day. Only so many hours to do the same thing you did the day before. Do something you love everyday, because everyday is a new day. You only have your self to blame. When it all comes together it doesn't really matter how high you climb or where you stand but who is holding the ladder when you fall. Now is the winter of our discontent.
I am not sure if this is a constant in other countries but whenever you need to do businesses in a government office you are guaranteed to waste a lot of time. You can tell instantly if the receptionist enters your name in a excel spreadsheet or god forbid a physical book of some kind. You will know right away if you see a large crowd. If there is no crowd then you are certainly doomed. An empty lobby in any other circumstance would idea but not this lobby - this lobby is a black hole. A friday night going nowhere.
You can only live one life at a time. Might as well make the most of it. Being in two places at the same time is against the laws of physics. Every need got an ego to feed. The grass will always seem greener over the hillside and might be. Everyday is a blessing. Every day is choice. You can make your choices, but don't burn your bridges. Physics and such. Be true to yourself and others. No regrets.
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