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Logbook ( page 5 )

Odes to my coy mistress. Metaphysical poetry updated weekly. New entry

Anthem

written by owen, Wed, 05th Oct 2016 at 9:17 am

The things that I do not "like" keep me on a path. Control is a strong word. I would rather say they are the rudder that guides my ship. No regrets.  Some people like ice cream even though it makes them sick. I am the kind of person who would find a better alternative than icecream so that I can redirect my efforts towards something less likely to kill me. Why torture yourself with barriers and wants?  I am not one to make excuses but I will avoid.   What I cannot avoid permanently I carefully build a tower around.‎ It is not personal. I am not a flower waiting to blossom.
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‎Some people spend their time trying to separate ‎themselves from themselves. Searching for something to hold onto. Trying to go platinum with no features. I have realized long ago that I am apart of the big machinery of life. It is more apparent as I get older that we are retracing the steps of our fathers, mothers, sisters and brothers.   We are the sum of the things we give away.

I have come up on another challenge.  I can only imagine that I will overcome it at some point and be able to look back and not remember how it all happened because I forget at times. Minor details about the small steps that you take are hard for me to document or keep track of. Like a monkey swinging from tree to tree won't remember every leaf or branch that passes by. Quick thinking and reflexes or fall to your death. Pride goeth before destruction.‎

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Telling stories

written by owen, Wed, 14th Sep 2016 at 8:15 am

‎One thing I have learnt from the sea is that if you want lots of random smooth rocks you have no choice but to keep pounding the shoreline. Forever. In a constant rhythm.   It helps that the ocean is gigantic and endless.‎ The ocean is bigger than all your problems, and even the problems that you create yourself for other people.
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I realize that you want to feel special like creating a world within a world which is unique and different from anything else that has ever existed for billions of years before now.‎  Some things are bigger than the things you want.  I have gone to great lengths to down play my specialties. My existence in this time and place, now, going forward is a cautious trod through a minefield of which I am very aware.   I am aware of the things I do not like and the things that wake me up in a cold sweat at night.  I bare them only for a time. There are things that I do not want to learn.

I try to not be too introspective in my writings lately but it is hard when I am not sure which direction my compass is heading. The future belongs to no man. I try. If you do not know me by now then you probably never will.   I keep a log of the things I might forget because I surely will. It is not that I do not care to remember but mostly because there is so much to do, so much to learn and so little time is which to experience it all.‎ I do not want to burden you with promises - a comfort.

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TLC commented: [smile] I can identify ... read more

Dust is gone

written by owen, Sat, 30th Jul 2016 at 8:25 pm

‎I have been keeping a low profile since Cuba. What is life without experiences. Life is ever changing. People say that in the future these experiences might be useful but I am not so sure. I think people lie and steal. Most people do not know what they want until it is too late to change any of it.‎
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I am behind on my personal projects. There is not enough time in the day and even less now‎ that I am older. The older I get the more aware I am of ‎my own mortality. Everyone has a story. Everything is in transition from one state t‎o another. I may not be here tommorow or next week. Arguing over small details is pointless. I need to learn to let go of the things that truly do not matter.
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‎Things only come back into perspective when I go to my favorite place and watch people while I each lunch.   Old people digging into their bags for expired credit cards. Basic school kids on a day field trip playing musical chairs in the food court.‎ A Chinese family spoon feeding their baby. Old friends in conversation.  Interns looking for the best place to sit where they can be most visible in case they spot someone they knew from high school. For some people this a stop on a long highway. For others this is thier daily routine until they can escape. For me I am just capturing the moment.‎

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Unforgettable

written by owen, Wed, 15th Jun 2016 at 12:07 pm

I did promise that I was going to be less cynical, going forward, but it is hard. Really, really hard. The whole world is full of fire, half asses and people who like to
waste your time. I was listening to this program on radio this morning while I was trying not to get killed by someone texting while driving. The program was about a tech-company in africa who is tackling the water shortage and sanitation problem by providing a app that people can use to make complaints to thier water commission. This cutting edge technology is going to save the world.

I still get a strange feeling whenever I lose something. Annoyance and sadness are emotions that are the base of my existence. I should be better at this by now, like a monkey. Even though I should not be envious of evil people, I am still weary of the life which we live, the give and the take, the pointlessness. I prefer comfort over any other state of being. All the world is a stage. I desire nothing but comfort.

I should learn to disregard the things that do not matter. 80/20. Cast aside the things that are material, not necessary, a warm blanket over beautiful skin, desires. I should not want to fall in love with anything. No time for regret. All is here for a time.

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Trouble

written by owen, Sat, 23rd Apr 2016 at 7:54 pm

Somewhere at some place in time my favorite 90s alternative rock song is playing but I am not there to hear it. All that exists is the moment in which you stand. The now, and then.‎   There may be things in the future but only on my todo list.   Sing with me just for today.  Wallow in your emotions of now, in your little corner. If it makes you happy?

‎It is a foreign feeling to be in a foreign country with a foreign language.   A place that doan know my name.  Down any street you walk by people going about their business while I watch and wait. Party like it's 1999. Soon it will be time to go home and all I will have are suveniers of a foriegn feeling in a foreign place in time.

‎There are some experiences that you can only have once. Experiences that live with you forever and float out into space like beams of light. It is too bad that there is no way to transfer these experiences to other people. Maybe other people would not want to be troubled with your stale experiences. So why do anything at all?‎

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Sheffi commented: Experiences...humans do not experience things, situations, places similarly. One will be looking in awe at a picturesque landscape and trying to absorb it in an effort to add it to their catalog of memories while another occupying a similar space will be wondering how fast they could get in front of a television and 'watch' nature from the comfort of their living room. Keep on living and sharing my friend. ... read 1 more

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