written by owen, Fri, 08th Apr 2016 at 3:25 pm
It is the spring and the ants have come out in thier numbers as if I had put up a "for-rent" sign on a luxury apartment - breakfast included. Time does make you bolder. No habla espanol. There is absolutely nowhere that you can leave an empty wrapper that they won't find in a matter of minutes. Tu Como? I came home to find them eating tomato ketchup. Now it is all out war.
I started watching Netflix the other day. The thing with netflix is that I have already watched all the movies on cable and I am not interested in watching seasons that tell the same stories over and over; the indecisive hero, the outlaw, the complicated mass murder or the man with a secret past. I like that it allows me to watch old movies but Dey-ja-vu is not an experience that like to wallow in. I am sticking with cable.
I am also going to try to reduce my tendency to be a killjoy. I realize that people NEED an escape from reality and they do not want someone constantly reminding them of the speed of light, time and physics. I am going to live in the moment of your lack of objectivity. Ignorance is bliss. Somethings make us human and one is that we do not share the same reality in our heads. Our perspective on things that matter and things that are important are not aligned to any kind of axis. Things intersect, converge, collide and change in the real and in our minds and everything will be fine in the future.
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written by owen, Wed, 23rd Mar 2016 at 10:36 am
I have no idea what I want to do for my birthday which is not unsual. Birthdays for me are a constant yearly reminder than I am not young anymore and that all the things in my head are memories of a state in a time of a place where which why once was then how. I head to a point in time, I reach quickly then I am glad that it is over but miss the old days, only to find a new destination but heading is slow and nothing ever completes. The slow life is a cycle.
I have realised that most people are just kids inside old bones. They all want the same things that they wanted as a child and the world is just not letting them go outside and play in the rain. Not a care in the world.
If there was one thing I would hope other people would understand about me is that I am only good at a few things. Hell is other people. Obsessions. The few things are not interchangeable. They cannot be swapped out and replaced like words in a picture, seasons in a year. I am not a seed in the desert hoping for rain. A flower waiting to bloom. Life ain't always what it seems. The speed of light.
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Jamaipanese commented: don't remind me about birthdays and getting older.... ... read 5 more
written by owen, Sat, 12th Mar 2016 at 7:19 pm
â€ŽI have learnt that there is no way to alleviate someone's deepest fears.â€Ž Monkeys and buses. Â There is nothing you can do about the shadow behind them as they walk along the bank of a river. Â A fear of the future is likened to a fear of physics itself. Fearing the earth rotating around the sun. A fear of gravity. Â The law of conservation of energy. Entropy. The constant march towards choas. The speed of light. These things are certain.Â Hold on to them.
Everyday is a near death situation. If it's not H1N1 then something else will get you. You never know. You might wake up one morning with a small head or pain that is never over.â€Ž Weed is my only friend. I am not negative I just understand the problem more that you do. I spend more time thinking it over - so I have instant answer. My faith is real, yours are enthusiasm. Every story has 2 sides.
â€ŽNo use waiting around for bad shit to happen. I broke both of my favorite Rayban sun glasses in the same week I must be lucky or the devil may have it out for me or God is teaching me a lesson. I don't know but I bought a new pair and a replacement band for my watch so that I can tell the time. If I find a small enough screwdriver I could remove the arms from the old glasses and attach them to the new one so that I can be transcendent.
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mad bull commented: >> Weed is my only friend
Almopst, but not quite. You forgot me! [laugh]
Still weed MAY WELL BE your best friend. ... read 1 more
written by owen, Fri, 12th Feb 2016 at 2:51 pm
I finally found the bug in one of my pet projects that I had been working on over the Christmas. Now I can move on to other things that want to kill me slowly. I have come to rely on the skills of others rather than thier hopes and dreams. I am older now, I cannot spend all my time working on hobby projects - as much as I would like. I need to focus but focus is hard when the world is filled with people posting dumb articles that surmount to nothing more than a pile of ransid leaves.
My words elude me. I have not written anything since like the year has started - even. I keep thinking that this may be the last time. But life goes on so I write because I must. I must soldier on because at least at my funeral there will be not shortage of reference literature from which to draw from in order to bring forth a gracious speech or at least an essay. I hate funerals, going away parties, do not invite me - I will not attend.
My birthday is fast approaching. I have resolved that music CDs are the only thing that can make me happy. Jah alone can give I satisfaction. I have renewed my passport and I have no idea what I am going to do with it. The year 2015 came to an end just when I was beginning to like it. It seems the best part of the year is the period after your birthday like going down a hill with no breaks at full speed. weee! I am good at being uncomfortable.
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Tami commented: Yes you are...good at being uncomfortable that is. ... read more
written by owen, 2015-Dec-31
The irony of life is that you might never know what actually ends up killing you to death. It could be that time you forgot to brush your teeth before going to bed. Or that extra cupcake you had at the Christmas office party. It could be that sermon on the mount that left you so stressed out that a blood clot developed in a major artery. Â It could be words that you never said - constipation.â€Ž Red peas.
â€ŽThere is a third level of understanding where you can see a problem and choose not to solve it - just to leave it alone. Live and let die. In a life of solving problems and looking beyond the wall. Maybe it is a learned form of skepticism. Knowing that there might be things that I cannot solve so I just avoid all discussion of it for fear of stopping. Though stopping is certain. No one wants to stop right now. So we continue on the simpler problems until the real hard problems unravel themselves. Maybe it is a form of patience.
It's been a long dry Christmas but the rain finally fell today. If only for a short while. I can feel the cold breeze on my skin and smell the scent of rain - whatever rain smells like, I am not really sure. But I am alive. We are alive. For another year. Â It's been fun, annoying but fun.â€Ž Happy New Year.
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