Im sure you have heard about people having phantom pregnancies or other illness based on mixed messages from the brain. Its quite odd that one part of the body controls everything else. Just like the boss I guess, pun intended. A pun is made to be implicit not read but really I just couldnt help myself. Now on the matter of the mind, the question is, is there a difference between the conscious and the sub-conscious? Does one feed the other and if so which one?
I recently found myself absolutely confused between the two. I felt my sub-conscious had mysteriously taken over my solid thinking conscious state which left it in a paralyzed state of yearning over cashier side chocolate. Whats odd is that the same chocolate thats been in the supermarket for years just started to look like a delicacy made by chocolate dreams. The mother of all chocolates just seems like it ought to be devoured, lol. Imagine that, and that I do.
So the real question is, to eat or not to eat, lol. That is the question. Now as a long time fan of chocolate, I know two things, it is an absolute treat, but being true to myself, if I eat it once, I wont stop until I have gorged myself and eaten the whole isle, chocolate out of stock! And I know I will be in a quandary with 10lbs gained which will take months to get rid of minutes of pleasure. But oh sometimes its worth it!
As I sit in the cafeteria downtown I realize that my writing has gone down dramatically since I started bringing lunch to work. It is as if my writing is some how connected to my ability to sit in a public place with lots of noise and choas. Its been a long time. I have missed this feeling of desolation and resisting the urge to take out my camera and take pictures.
Youthman live up and make good use of your time. As I get older I get more and more aware of the injustices in this world. Many people have to die so that I can drink my orange juice out of a straw. I am a fish in a socioeconomic bowl. I am a cog in a gigantic pinwheel of life. Spinning around and around like a monkey on a threadmill. We are alone yet we are apart of a gigantic clusterfuck.
The older I get, the more aware I am of the things that annoy me like dominos tumbling down in a row. It makes no sense to wait for some future point to be happy. Monkeys rely on the strength of the group instead of wallowing in their own pool of shit. Some people are just better at somethings than others. Life is all about the journey. No use waiting because time moves on at a constant rate whether you having fun or u sitting on the wayside waiting for things to happen. Enjoy the ride and invite me along with you.
I have been slacking off on these entries for like 2 months now. Maybe I am getting old or I am slowly dieing from the aerosol that they spray in the airplane before every flight. I hold my breath so I can minimise the amount of nanobots that the NSA plants inside by brain to read my thoughts - they see me rollin, they hatin. I hope you all are happy now that you have put all your information into the facebook and twitter void because it makes everything easy now. All your base are belong to us. We have stars directing our faiths.
I have been reading alot into economics recently since I wanted to buy something and realised that I was poor and love is a battlefield. Reading a book with 340 pages is a daunting task for a someone who hasn't bought muchless read a book in 10 years. I could never afford to buy books in high school. I would go to this place they had when I was boy called a "Library" - they keep books there on shelves. You can take one of the books off a shelf and they also have chairs there for you to sit and read the words that are on the these things called pages. Some of these books have pictures in them too. My favourite books where Encyclopedias which came in sets of 27 - one for each letter of the alphabet. I love books, books don't need batteries. I hate batteries.
At the end of the day one has to know thyself. For in knowing thyself one will know the world. I just hope that it doesn't take too long. If I give random girl that walks by a box juice that I got for free at a meeting, what does that mean? How will the butterfly flap its wings?
When I sit at lunch in a cafeteria and a big batty girl sits at the empty table across from mine - things start to run through my mind. Things always run through my mind, I am not the kind of person to deny my mind such pleasures. I sleep to dream. Get Lucky.
She is a dark girl with short natural hair slightly twisted, dressed in full white short shorts and t-shirts on a Monday. She is average height, slowly sipping on a fresh cup of Jamaican fruit juice in a plain white cup - she is not in a rush as she watches the cricket report intensely on the television - I doubt she can hear anything over the gentle chorus of noise in the cafeteria.
She doesn't have a ring on her finger, probably a vegetarian-lesbian, model, "roots lady" involved with a man that sells weed for a living. Her handbag is medium, mostly empty with 3 dark earth tone lines running horizontally. You can never tell a book's cover. I always say if I ever fall in love again, my next girl will be nothing like my ex-girl. I must have made mistakes, so I will have no choice but to find a white girl. She takes one last sip of her juice, gets up and walks away - shorter than I remember.
Every so often I get to sit at the bus stop in New kingston and watch the world go by. It is a luxury that I enjoy like fried plantains, ripe and sweet like a nipple on the breast of a chicken. Too bad hurricane Sandy took away all the plantain trees and I have to suffer another 12 months until they grow back and bear fruit. Such is life. Such is life.
Sometimes I would be listening to some music in one place and then move to another place and wish that the music would follow me around all the time. But then I remember that it would probably be annoying to have the black keys follow you around all the time like a cloud of distraction. Sometimes you need free time to listen to the raindrops and think about the thoughts in your head.
There is so much money in the world but money is not the answer. Monkeys. Monkeys are the answer. I would live on an island in the Maldives and dream about the ways of the old world, fried chicken-coconuts and watch the sky for rain clouds and hurricanes.