The gap

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written by owen on 2005-May-23.

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When buying pants you never really know what your going to get. Unless of course your lucky enough to have a constant supply of designer clothes. Custom built by JLO herself in a sweaty factory in the Bronx. If not, then your looking at a world of a random, assorted puzzles and metal detectors. Usually I forget which size to buy but the sizes don't mean anything anyway - you have to try it on, lower yourself to THIER LEVEL!

Such a life changing task requires hours pacing, starring around the room like a shoplifter or a lost child, helplessly looking at tags. It is not an easy task at all, making a mistake at the point before you buy could spell utter doom and damnation for generations to come. You cannot leave once you have entered, passed THAT POINT OF NO RETURN. You are doomed. DOOMED like that fantastic 4 movie.

You finally settle for one, what you want is never there. You cannot buy one however, YOU MUST BUY THREE. If only to save 20%, there is logic to it, somewhere. Usually one of the attendants rushes towards you trying to earn a commission off you misery. While encouraging you to buy something else, something in a color that you would never wear outside, like G-unit - not without a gun and some mace.

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  1. Poor Owen... I have a few pants whe di waist getting tight, I could let you have those if you want... it might keep you out of Lees Fifth Avenue a bit longer... you want them? ;-)

    by mad bull 2005-May-23 

  2. this post is making me cringe. i HATE shopping for pants.

    by alexis 2005-May-23 

  3. There's this little shop where I always buy my pants. The owner can guess my size from 5 kilometres away. quite scary, but always perfect service (he has coffee!) and perfect fit. That one tiny shop makes it bearable.

    by Hayo 2005-May-24 

  4. i too, hate buying pants. i have more hatred for buying shorts though. its hard to find a pair that fit right and don't look retarded on you.

    question for you...
    you have pant legs right? what are the legs called of shorts? short legs? or short thighs?

    by michael_halvorsen 2005-May-24 

  5. I don't know knees, maybe. wikipedia

    by owen 2005-May-24 

  6. Never knew buying pants was such a task.

    by kami 2005-May-24 

  7. Yes, shopping for pants is indeed an emotional rollercoaster for the typical male....if I could get away with wearing sweats all the time that'd be just great!

    by AngryDog 2005-May-25 

  8. pants?

    by tristan 2005-May-25 

  9. i own like 12 pairs of jeans. all are my size. i wear 4 pairs in rotation. others don't fit the way i like.

    by michael_halvorsen 2005-May-26