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Inception Review

written by owen, Sat, 14th Aug 2010 at 9:02 am

Long movie is long and full of explanation but it was good because that was its only downside. Rating 9 out of 10: Must watch. Not necessarily in the theater. No mature content. Lots of talking. May mess with your mind. You may want to watch it twice.

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Gods Child commented: yeah I sent my boss to see it and she's come up with 2 alternate theories to what I've already come up with definitely keeps people talking at the water cooler good job all around ... read 2 more

Salt Review

written by owen, Wed, 11th Aug 2010 at 8:59 pm

The adventures of a skinny white woman. That basically it. I remember the last time at my last job (before I became a spy) my manager requested that I join him in a meeting. Luckily I made a bomb out of some kersene oil I had stored in my desk draw, blew a whole through the wall and made a quick exit in the getaway car I had parked in the driveway specifically for emergencies such as that.

It turns out some months later I got word that the memo was sent to me by mistake. It is this sort of "over reacting" that plagues SALT to the core, especially in the first half of the movie. That and the physics defying, impossibly impossible stunts. The movie should be renamed to CRAZY SKINNY WHITE LADY JUMPS.

The story is good though predicatable while Angelina Jolee is some kinda "spy" slash escape artist that has had a little too much of the powder. I give it 7 out of 10. Very predictable, watch it on cable, skinny white lady doing impossible stunts, twist ending.

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owen commented: if you like Angelina Jolee then you won't be disappointed with all the jumping [laugh] ... read 3 more

Last house on the left (2009) Review

written by owen, Tue, 13th Jul 2010 at 8:30 am

Based on Wes Craven’s 1972 original (and better) film. Last house on the left follows 2 girls that get kidnapped by murders and eventually end up at the house that is on the left of a lake. I am not sure if Hollywood is running out of ideas or the screen writers have some idea that Americans are retarded. The original movie was at one point banned.

The 2009 release takes a complicated edgy movie and transforms it into a load of monkey poo. Strong female characters are turned into damsels in distress; smart people are seen rummaging through their garage like they have never seen it before; people randomly talk to the screen in order to explain what is going on in the movie. Basically all the characters are a mere shadow of their former selves, each transformed into stereotypical twentieth century fools, helpless puppets to convention.

For the most part as expected they added the cheesy, pointless, blood and gore to this re-release. For instance there is a scene in the original movie where a guy gets his penis bitten off by a woman (which is horrible but is appropriate for its context). This scene is replaced by the same guy getting his hand mutilated in a sink trash disposal pipe. While in the original is truly painful, the current version is all about pointless blood. First move: chainsaw, this movie: hammer and knives are the best they could find.

My Rating: total waste of time; 2 out of 10. A cup of water has more dept. Only for the blood and gore lovers of today. RATED: R for sadistic brutal violence including a rape and disturbing images, language, nudity and some drug use but still weak compared to the original.

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Knight and Day Movie review

written by owen, Mon, 05th Jul 2010 at 11:23 am

Cameron Diaz does her usual laugh and smile and Tom Cruise does his crazy impossible action. It feels like Mission 3, well worth the money even though Miss diaz just smiles alot. My rating 8 of 10. Plus I have heard reports that the last air bender sucks.

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owen commented: do you watch ANY movies at the theaters anymore? ... read 4 more

The Book Of Eli Review

written by owen, Sat, 30th Jan 2010 at 2:54 pm

I'm usually apprehensive towards watching Denzel Washington's movies he plays the same role over and over again. I bet you could cut 10 of his movies together into one movie and you would not beable to tell the difference. But I watched this one anyway because it was either this or Legion. You are probably wondering why he is doing a movie in which he kills people with a machete but by 20 minutes into the movie you will see why. Better titled: The revenge of the Librarian.

The movie starts out with the usual guy in the desert. He soon finds a place to hold up for the night, fresh pussy on the fire, and pulls out his ipod and start jamming to some Marvin Gaye. I can never understand how the barren wastelands he finds the time to charge his ipod and keep his designer sun glasses clean.

Maybe its a bias I have to wards these kinda movies but I can never understand how people can't find water to drink but they never run out of bullets for their guns. Their always seem to be a infinite supply of bullets and cigars. I can never understand.

Little things aside, Denzel is traveling west and kicks some ass along the way, a couple heart pounding actions scenes and quotes from the "Book". The movie is good all the way up until the end where the "twist" happens and left me with a "wtf" look on my face. Not a bad movie, kinda illogical but well written, 7 out of 10. Watch it when it comes out on cable.

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Gods Child commented: oh snap. Cable? Okay. thanks for the tip. ... read 3 more

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