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Thoughts on E3 2012

written by owen, 2012-Jun-14

If you follow video game entertainment at all you might have known that the E3 conference completed last week. Here is my round up;

The Last of Us

Another murder simulator from Naughty Dog. I really think they should go into making movies. Movies are much cheaper and would make them tons more money. How do you go from avoiding bad guys to killing EVERY BODY IN THE BUILDING?



I can see it now, news gets around fast in this post apocoloyptic world - everybody wants to kill you and eat your brain. I have a hatred for super smart zombies as well. Zombies setting traps and baracades for you to fall in to - it seriously makes no sense.

The Last Of Us looks like scripted mess and I'm not going to stop saying it until the Naughty Dog fanbois grow a second brain that is capable of recognising the difference between a playable cutscene and a game. I am not going to even try and explain what a game is, its something like Pac-man when you enter the maze but instead of the ghosts roaming around the room, they are cussing and talking to themselves loudly.

I am saying that its going to be a bad game. All I am saying that it would be a better movie. Which is good thing since you are playing it on the best Bluray player on the market. You can hear a gun shot from a mile away, any shots fire would alert anybody in the area - its time video games stopped using shitty mechanics.

Tomb Raider

Nice tits. Getting shot splashes water on the screen. Wow. Not to mention Lara chooses to use a bow when all the baddies are using assualt rifles.



The constant forward push seen in the trailor is pointless as well, only an idiot would enter a river of rushing water while on the side of a cliff. Even the contruction of the environment is void of any logic.

Halo 4

Feels like Metroid Prime.

Just as I said in my Prometheous Review: Never take off your helmet - EVER!

Watch Dogs

Hacking in to cellphones and street lights is not really my thing but those trees and wind effects look top notch.

The user interface looks clean but nothing here convinces me that this game is not another scripted cover based third person shooter. Has blade runner vibe as well, hopefully there are no stages on trains.

Beyond: Two Souls

Not much you can tell from a long ass cutscene.

Maybe its a point and click game.

Assasin's Creed 3

So stealthy he doesn't even leave foot prints in the snow.

Nintendo Land

Nintendo is at it again with its family games. Nothing New here.

As long as I don't have to hold the controller up to the screen all day.

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Bit.Trip - Runner - Wii Review

written by owen, 2010-Dec-12

Runner is a game that could only have been designed by Hilter. Beating/completing the game requires dedicating GIGABYTES of you brain towards memorizing devilish jumping and ducking patterns in perfect order. Failing to do so will result in you getting sent directly back to the beginning of the level - no check point - no short cuts - NO NOTHING.

This game is GOOD but I certainly would not give this game a 10 because clearly there were some awful decisions made in the designs/layouts of some of the levels. You can tell that it is a design issue when EVERYBODY who plays level 1-2 has the same problem with those dam stairs. What makes it worst is that those stairs are the hardest in the whole 1st world. Not even to mention the bonus stages that can only be played once after playing the full stage.

Runner is a novel game but don't buy it unless you have alot of patience and up for the challenge of playing a level ONE HUNDRED TIMES OVER until you are able to commit everything into muscle memory. I give bit.trip: runner a 8 out of 10. Its good but unnecessarily hard.

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Tami commented: This seems like a good choice to piss off a gamer. Maybe this should be a Christmas gift. ... read 9 more

Best Homebrew Games on the Wii

written by owen, 2010-Dec-6

Firstly you will have to figure out how to install the Homebrew Channel. Note that the older your wii the easier it is to install. Anyway after that you will need a SD card to copy the game onto so that you can play them on your Wii. To download the game click download on the top right of the games web page.

Now here are my top 10 favourite games from wiibrew.org

WiiSPACE

A top down Shoot-'em-up in space along the lines of Asteriods. Using the nunchuck to steer and the pointer to shoot. Very polished game with enough challenge to keep you comming back. Multiple types of enemies and boss battles. Simple graphics and 4 players at the same time give it a arcade feel. Classic and Gamecude controller support make it a must have. 9 out of 10.

Link: wiibrew.org/wiki/WiiSPACE

MahJongg Wii

MahJongg Wii is a Mahjongg solitaire tiles game written specifically for the Wii. One of the most polished games on the Homebrew Channel, great menus and background music. Single or 2 player. Easy game to learn. 10 out of 10.

Link: wiibrew.org/wiki/Mahjongg_Wii

C-Dogs

C-Dogs is an arcade shoot-em-up which lets players work alone and cooperatively during missions or fight against each other in the "dogfight" deathmatch mode. Many missions, various was to customise the charactor and multiple types of guns. Reminds me of true Lies on the SNES. 9 out of 10.

Link: wiibrew.org/wiki/C-DogsSDL

Flying Saucers

A simple 2D space shooting game. in which you shoot flying things on the screen with 1 to 4 players. Good game 7 out of 10.
Link: wiibrew.org/wiki/FlyingSaucers

Homebrew Browser

The Homebrew Browser allows you to download the latest homebrew applications and games all through your Wii. You don't need to take your SD card out. You don't even need a computer! You can also delete homebrew you no longer want. 10 out of 10

Link: wiibrew.org/wiki/Homebrew_Browser

I will add more games as I come across them. To see the full list of availiable game view the List of Hombrew games.

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Playstation Move Sucks Now

written by owen, 2010-Oct-17

I am a long time Wii owner and I played Move over at a friends house. I can safely say that its precision is its downfall - yes its precise but if I have to throw my arm out just to get a gold medal on Sports Champions then its not at all worth it! I like may arms, I play video games to avoid REAL sports. I'm a skinny guy, I don't need exercise, how are you going to beat the game if the simplest most redundant moves make you arm tired after half and hour? Why can't I do a horizontal slash?

I've played wii sports resort for eight straight hours, I wouldn't dare try that with the Move. PSMove fanatics need to start telling people their medal status on Sports champions because I don't think they are playing the game for very long.

The on-screen pointer lags abit too and the menu controls for some of the games are inconsistent. I get tempted to point at the screen and click stuff but some game I played had no screen pointer. Oh and another thing, the dam buttons around the move button, I hope people get accustomed to them eventually but they kinda confusing to use during play. Hopefully in the future the software averages out between exercise machine and gaming controler. If you never played the wii before then The move will be new ground for you but for the millions in Wii land; Precision does not equal fun. But right now I give it a 7 for poorly inplemented Wii Clone.

Bottom Line: Playstation Move sucks right now, at least on the software side until some good software comes out. The hardware maybe precise but that is also its downfall.

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Tami commented: Honestly when i first saw the ad on tv, they were using the pink one and it resembled the fleshlight from a distance, i had to take a second look #imjustsaying [tired] ... read 4 more

Mario Kart Wii Sucks

written by owen, 2009-Jun-11

Here I will list reasons in my opinion why the Wii release of the popular series is probably the worst version ever;

  • Bikes. Why would someone add a second type of vehicle into a game that is called Mario "Kart"? Not only that but make it so that they are faster and better handling than regular karts.

  • Having 12 racers breaks the balance of the item distribution. You either have to be at the very last position or at first to be certain of what you are going to get in your item box. And even then you might get something that is of little help.
  • The item distribution itself is broken. Try playing a 2 player vs match without the computer AI. What you will end up with are 2 racers trying to kill each other with bananas. If a gap is created between the players it is impossible to catch the other player because all you will get are bananas.
  • Losing your hard earned item when you drop of a ledge, or get hit by lightning makes it impossible to maintain any kind of strategy when holding items or retaliating after being hit. You either got to use it as soon as you get it or pray that somebody in last place doesn't use a lightning. Item hording is a choice, removing it only make the game shallow.
  • Stupid, superficial items. Why would you have a item in a game that when used has not effect on computer controlled players?
  • Lack of realistic hit physics. Now I know, "realistic" may not be the appropriate word in this scenario but I remember when I hit a player with a red shell while he/she was in a power slide he would go flying off a edge into a hole. Yeah I know it is evil to do but it was fun and required exact timing. Now, nothing happens the person get hit, flies straight up in the air on the spot. Pure BS.
  • Team Battles should be optional. In fact the whole battle mode is a mere shadow of what it once was.
  • Blue shells that explode. I've read about this numerous times. The last thing I've noticed is that if the first place racer has already crossed the finish line then the blue shell comes after whomever is next in rank. Meaning a world of pain for those who just want to be left alone with their third place position.
  • Having more over powered items in the game without removing the old items throws off the random item selection mechanic. I can't remember the last time I got a fake question mark box. While at he same time you get bananas, 3 bananas, 3 boost, single boost, gold boost, green shell, and tons of other stuff that becomes unnecessary now, because the only real item that can make you win is the Bullet Bill or Star. Every other item becomes a useless waste of space. Bomb, Green shells? useless.
  • Something is off with the controls I can't really tell exactly but the rainbow track is awful to drive on.
  • Poor hit detection on shells. Total travesty!
  • The menus look very primitive.
  • Power sliding seems to be made useless, not sure if its because of the track design or the handling of the vehicles but something is not right with it. People who can do manual power slides seems to have no advantage over the regular automatic mode.
  • Tracks; I am not sure about these new tracks. They seem to interfere with the player more than necessary and have no good short cuts or places to jump across. The tracks in Mario Kart Wii seem more like site seeing trips rather than race courses. Odd bumps and distractions are all around. The Mario Track from the N64 version is probably the best track on the thing.

Basically the more you suck at Mario Kart Wii - the more you enjoy it.

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Z commented: totally untrue. I have a blast, and I have a three star 9999 VR ranking with the wheel, logging over 580 hours. I would actually say the opposite - the more you suck, the less you enjoy it. ... read 2 more

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