Two weeks away feels like the whole world should have changed. I'm home now and it has or maybe its the same. I'll try to forget for one more night that I'm back. Thrown into this cruel-cruel world once again like a caterpillar with wings. I've started to feel the emptiness in everything. God only knows what fantastic hell has broken out since I've been away. I smile though, know that in the midst of all the chaos SOME BODY HAS GOT TO BE RASS HAPPY. Well the trip to suburbia was not all a boring book or two. I saw my moms, sister and met my noisy niece. I take comfort in the things I can't control, and worry about - consistent insecurities. Spider webs that snag wings. I never really learned the meaning of it all.
Maybe you love me, maybe you don't. I gave you all the love I got. Your heart is not open so I must go. You were my lesson I had to learn. I'd wash the sand off the shore. When you come back down. When your grass is green. If you land on your feet, I hope you find a way to make it back to me. You were my last high. Don't nobody know my troubles with God. I can't hate you, though I have tried. Love is stronger than pride.
I am writing this, as I have written this so many times before. Cautiously, like a will and testament or as if the last one that I'll ever write. I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to lie, so this is goodbye. I bought a notebook while I was away. Wrote on a couple pages in my boredom until I found something to occupy my mind and make my eyes hurt so bad. In the words of my favorite author "inspiration comes from pain and sadness". Should have added boredom. There are only so many leaves on a branch, time to take flight.
Gods Child commented: you can't make your heart feel something it won't, here in the dark in these final hours. . . ... read 1 more
What is your favourite adjective?
An adjective is a word that modifies a noun or pronoun by describing, refining, or qualifying it. Adjectives can add color and immediacy to writing; however, adjective overuse is a stylistic error common to beginning writers.
On an average supermarket store shelf, you will see that strawberries are sold in packets of six. I noticed this, like how I notice crazy people on the side of the street, peeing in the corner of a wall. Apparently strawberries are jealous, heartless and conniving fruits. Having more than six in a packet would result in a bloody war or state of armed conflict resulting in murder. June Plums on the other hand are all ugly-a-like and are comfortable beside each other in great numbers. Apples could care less. In an extreme case, a couple shelves down, I found (and was tempted to buy for no reason) cherries which were stacked very bueatifully in sets of fifty. I smiled.
I not so often visit this supermarket. Its the best thing that I've ever seen. I can buy pre-seasoned meat and throw it into a frying pan. But I can't have my cake and eat it too. I can never decide what to get, so I always buy the same things. Unless there are other people there to influence my thoughts and desires to drive me crazy. Never buy coconut water that comes in a can - ever. I need an exit, I'm disgruntled. Well I know that its a wonderful world but I can't feel it right now. Dreams are for fools, they let you down. Vacation time.
The dirty little bank girl stopped by the tomatoes and fondled them. I cannot imagine how often per day those tomatoes were squeezed and smelt and rejected. The best of you. Many times I imagine. And this would all seem new and fascinating to them for the first couple a days. I thought it weird, they all looked perfectly fine to me. I would have just taken up a couple, marry them and be merrily on my way. But I guess I can't see as far, as clear. That is, if I bought tomatoes, in a supermarket, on a thursday night, using a check. I saw another woman come up to the tray of tomatoes like a deer to a watering hole and fondle. Some people just love riding the brakes. Where 2 or 3 are gathered together. I conceded that it must have been some sorta ritual. Thought nothing more of it and moved on, who am I to question the odd, strange, or eccentric sexual pleasures that tomatoes bestow? If it makes you happy.
yamfoot commented: i can always depend on you for a laugh. what you watching the people feeling up di tomatoes for??/
anyway, i love going to the supermarket. the people at Food Fair must be wonder how come i in there so often. sometime i just go in and look and come out without anything. ... read 11 more
Don't be too hard on my emotions. I need time to save enough love for you. Have a little patience. Dreams and reality separated by bulletproof glass and blacklight. Give me a change to make cents. I tried the automated teller machine before, I didn't like how she counted my money, exactly, without a care or flaw. Your imperfections are what make you special. No one can replace you. On causal fridays you wear regular cloths because you cannot be corrupted by the other, dense, people that exist in your presence - your are special like a 2 dollar US note. I dread the day when my liens out weigh my balances and you are no longer my special teller. Why do all good things come to an end?
We talked for 20 minutes but as soon as the conversation was over you had forgotten. Somedays when your not a work I wonder who basks in the warmth of your glow. If I told you that you were bueatiful would you date me on the regular? There is always nothing or too much to say. There are only so many checks that I can deposit in a month, only some many chances to move in your waiting line. Only so many form fields that I can ask questions about before our time is done. Only some many forms to fill out, accounts to open, money to save and lines to join. I know that its a wonderful world but I can only see it when your here with me.