written by owen on 2007-Feb-19.

Two weeks away feels like the whole world should have changed. I'm home now and it has or maybe its the same. I'll try to forget for one more night that I'm back. Thrown into this cruel-cruel world once again like a caterpillar with wings. I've started to feel the emptiness in everything. God only knows what fantastic hell has broken out since I've been away. I smile though, know that in the midst of all the chaos SOME BODY HAS GOT TO BE RASS HAPPY. Well the trip to suburbia was not all a boring book or two. I saw my moms, sister and met my noisy niece. I take comfort in the things I can't control, and worry about - consistent insecurities. Spider webs that snag wings. I never really learned the meaning of it all.

Maybe you love me, maybe you don't. I gave you all the love I got. Your heart is not open so I must go. You were my lesson I had to learn. I'd wash the sand off the shore. When you come back down. When your grass is green. If you land on your feet, I hope you find a way to make it back to me. You were my last high. Don't nobody know my troubles with God. I can't hate you, though I have tried. Love is stronger than pride.

I am writing this, as I have written this so many times before. Cautiously, like a will and testament or as if the last one that I'll ever write. I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to lie, so this is goodbye. I bought a notebook while I was away. Wrote on a couple pages in my boredom until I found something to occupy my mind and make my eyes hurt so bad. In the words of my favorite author "inspiration comes from pain and sadness". Should have added boredom. There are only so many leaves on a branch, time to take flight.

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