Do not let your self get stuck in a down mood for too long. There are things you cannot control. Forces that have no steering wheel and you are in the passenger seat. I just have to let it run its course while keeping track of everything else that needs to be done. There is always other things to do. Spinning things around in your head for too long is only going to make you forget the other things. It is a form of procrastination. Get other stuff done before they pile up. It will make you eel better and regain focus.
It seems like nowadays its much harder to be a true evil-evil group. A truly evil-evil person/group has to be devious and plan every aspect to avoid getting caught or just fkitall. While a Good-Evil group is legally evil, persistent and makes up all sorts of memes to justify the evil that they commit. If you are caught being evil-evil you go to jail. if you get caught doing good-evil you change the topic. Good-evil is at a epic high right now. You see it movies, Israel, foreign policy, Ai, its all over.
With all the terrible things happening in the world it is important to keep working on the things that you can control. Keep creating, keep moving forward. Stay in control of your reality. Sail your ship away from the rocks. You are your navigator. Even when everyone else is heading towards a precipice you do not have to follow the script. God and time.
Understanding your built environment is a key part of survival. You need to know who, why, what and how. The ignorance of other people is also a key part of said environment. Know yourself even more than you know others. You exist in your head as much as you exist in real life and these 2 parts must know each other. Everything is an advantage and a disadvantage. You never know which direction the arrow to the knee is going to come from. So evolution must be a careful mission of choosing your battles and min-maxing your strategy. Embrace the chaos.
One has to reconcile with ones past. Never betray your former self. You can feel sorry for yourself but let the sorrow direct you to a new place. Rather than going the same old rabbit hole. Create more, do more, navigate to a better direction. We know that choas chases us everywhere we go but take time to think carefully as you steer your way through the waves. Do not carry your past around like a bag weighing you down. Free yourself. If even just a little. Little by little until all you see ahead is new beginnings.
People will lie to themselves all their lives and if you tell them the truth they will hate you for it. But that is just how it is. You cannot spend all your time trying to change people that do not want to change. Live your life and you move on. Because your journey is not complete. There is still work to do and no one will do it for you. Hell is other people.
The best way I can explain it is that you exist on the inside or the outside of a circle. Sometimes you float between, in and out. But you are somewhere - in the end. Move through states at light speed. Sometimes the move is hard or soft. Throw your hands up in the air. Sometimes it can happen in a blink of an eye. You mind can be one place and your body is in another. I am very aware of the circle. Argue about the inside when you are on the inside. Do not argue about the outside because the outside is not within your control. Visa versa. You must recognize this fact.
There are things people only talk about in life and in death they talk about different things. Or maybe they are dead and they do not talk at all. It is important to recognize that we are not special. You are not special. I am not special. We exist for a time and a place and a people we, ourselves and I live in a physical and mental state that is bigger than either of us.
I really should write more but the writing takes time and thought. There are many distractions. Plus writing is not my only mission. I write because I can. Not because I want to but because I am chipping away at a stone wall hoping that it will mean something in the end. Is it masterbation? Am I flexing my knowledge of words and prose for the birds? Who knows? Total recall. Read this at my funeral.
New year. I looked back at some of my previous January entries of the logbook and established that this is not a consistent event. But I must write. I must keep sailing this ship forward. In hindsight it was just last year that we were heading toward Christmas, then it was new years and no we are on the flipside heading towards something else. It starts over or continues in my case. Now in out present course we must circumnavigate the course line towards our goals for this this year. Lets see what we can do. Let see how it turns out.
I have not been trying to wake up early. There is a not time like the present. Not time for reseting. I am not one to say that this year is "my year" because we live in a collective existence. Everything, everywhere, all the time. We have wants and needs. I have a short list of things that I want to do this year - a very short list. One way or the other I will not be distracted with all the things going on in the wider world. Things that I cannot control. God and time. Save me from the things I want.
Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air. But I hate exercise. I find it mind numbing. The activity is easy enough but its like trying to make a horse fly; a horse can jump but is that really flying? We can jump around, wave our hands in the air but we want to be the best. We want it all. Or is this a smalls steps problem? who knows.