written by owen on 2007-Dec-09.
I'm still at the open cubicle, in the open, away from my base cubicle which was snuggled-neatly-passively in a corner where I could disappear, successfully defend against attack and be at peace. It started to rain and I had to move. I often look back to make sure that none of the new, ignorant have sort to capture my domain while I linger here. I may have mentioned that I hate to leave from somewhere, that I am, to go somewhere else, doesn't matter where. So I linger here for now, a few feet away, training myself not to look up when a someone passes behind me to go to the printer. Studying the blurry outline of the quaint secretary to my right, the sunlight in my face in the evening, the ghosts in the corner of eyes without moving my head, full of focus. Adjust my eyes to undulate the reflections in my monitor. Leave me alone.
Strange in an interesting or pleasing way, there exists another that I smile with, on purpose, I never say anything to her. And even if she isn't smiling I make her smile because some people just can't resist it - its a rare curse. So I make a game of it, eventually she'll want to break the silence and I will want to continue the game and she'll hate me for it, but I don't care - its all about the memories. When the morning comes don't say you love me. Yes, she might be a cool person on the inside, but only fools rush in, unless it makes you happy - die by what you live by.
I would like to think that when you say something that you expect an answer. That when you say something it evaluates to more than the fact that it causes the water in the toilet to turn blue - which is painfully obvious. Don't try to change the way i feel. We only have a limited amount of time to think up names for our children, a master plan to take over the world and what next to waste our money on. There are not alot of things that I care about - you will soon realize why I do, not, neither, triple negative. Even flowers on the window can appreciate a lovely day for what it is. Plant your seeds and let them grow, sometimes I will see it happen once, maybe twice and then I will just stop. Because doing the same thing over and over again because its the safe thing to do is a waste of time - unless - its a game you can win.