Strange And Beautiful

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written by owen on 2007-Apr-29.

Sometimes I end up at a party with a social piranha. A party like every other party where everybody is a stranger to me. But its one of those uptown parties with rich celebrity guests, television cameras, a hired host from Lime Tree Lane and Chinese people. I don't know any Chinese people, at least not personally. Not counting the woman who sells me my chicken fry rice on weekends. I can't call her a friend. But we have a special unspoken bond like strawberries. Whenever I come through the door without me saying a word she says "chicken fry rice?" and I say "yes" - the simpler of my relationships. I smile.

I make a game of it and try to befriend a china-woman at the party. But stalking and hand signals appear to be not enough. I've found that Chinese people are very reserved and rare like monkeys. And if you study the crowd carefully you will see them huddled together in mother-daughter configurations that are hard to penetrate. They are like baby cubs in a herd of short angry Chinese adult elephants. Sweep me off my feet.

If the the opportunity presents itself I try to pass myself off as a black chinaman by standing in the glow of a bright light so that I have squint my eyes all the time. But it never works, they usually runaway before I can pounce and wound. Its hard to see when your blind and disoriented. Disoriented. Small talk fails when she keeps saying what? what? WHAT? And all I can reply is "komichi?". Luckily, the social piranha has me in the corner of her eye and will often rush back to save me before I succumb to the five point palm-exploding heart technique. Put my feet back on the ground.

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  1. you are just toooo funny owen.

    squinting in the light to look like a black chinaman!

    by Yamfoot 2007-Apr-30 

  2. nothing tried...nothing done

    by owen 2007-May-01 

  3. i think you done lost it completely now Owen. Completely.
    So how did this party turn out?
    I thought you said you had a good time...

    by Island Spice 2007-Apr-30 

  4. [innocent] the party was ok besides the lack of dutty whinning. I know its uptown but they could at least try [indifferent]. yeah can't complain about free food and liquor.

    by owen 2007-May-01 

  5. You might be better off with a sexual piranha.

    by madbull 2007-May-01 

  6. uhmmm...but then we'd never go out and I'd die of hunger. What I miss is the balance, quiet, calmness of it all

    by owen 2007-May-01 

  7. Quiet calmness of what?

    by DLBG 2007-May-02 

  8. IT ALL.

    by owen 2007-May-05 

  9. *chicken fry rice?*

    I need me a meaningful relationship like that one. :)

    by Island Spice 2007-May-01 

  10. its a rare thing once you find it. She game me a free soda once. Its the little things [nive]

    by owen 2007-May-01 

  11. Uptown people don't like dutty whinning too much - it messes up ones hair!

    by Kingston Girl 2007-May-02 

  12. wonder palm is a dangerous acient technique.. you definitely would have died. Respect, honor and cherish your social piranha and make sure you don't ever cross the line with her else its over.

    by taylor 2007-May-03 

  13. oh yes. chinese ppl can b quite strange, owen. totally kno wt yu mean bout how they find safety in numbrs.

    even at family parties they get shifty round me (like im going to steal their "fly lice") n im actually blackinese..!

    by me 2007-May-04 

  14. hilarious...

    by simplenigma 2007-May-04