written by Owen on 2006-Jul-31.

Its the night before. Well actually its today. At around 9 o'clock several events will be set into motion which will cause an uncertain effect. I've been up all night formulating a plan of action. Thats what I do, like any calculated bastard - I formulate. Should in fact everything go well, then I am home free. Else should everything go wrong I would be at a point of no recovery. Its a do or die situation. I placed the order on friday and in the next 8 hours it should be delivered onto its unsuspecting victim. The note was skillfully crafted to hide my identity and yet reveal it fully to the informed.

I've waited over a month and everything comes down to this penultimate point. In the next couple of hours the balance will tilt in either direction and it will be my fault. The telephone will ring, that, is the one thing of which I am certain. Either way she will call and as usual I will have nothing important to say at that point because I would have clearly forgotten my master plan. I could childishly avoid the call but I cannot gauge what effect that that will have. The downside of being "ever present" is that its hard for you to disappear or become temporarily unavailable. I could fake an illness but more than likely she would call me at home.

We could start over again if something else were to happen in the next couple of hours. If I were to wake up on the floor. But I am pretty sure that apart form the war in Israel, everything will go as normal and nothing will over shadow the event. In the seemly infinite possible outcomes, I can't think of the worst thing that could happen. And it worries me. It could be destiny. However, destiny usually happens in 2 forms; its either the point when you die or the point when stop wondering what next is going to happen. Either case sucks for you because what would life be without the worrying about indeterminate events. I have to celebrate you baby, I have to praise you like I should.

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