written by owen on 2019-Sep-24.

One has to work hard in order to not get caught up in one's own baloney (or social baloney). The pursuit of knowledge, wisdom and understanding must be held above all else. One must understand one's self. Vanity is the devil's favorite sin. Sometimes I find myself swimming up stream against my better judgement. Change is certain so there is no point in trying to control it. The most I can do is ride the wave as the ship comes into shore, crashing into the rocks just under the water's surface.

People ask me how it feels to be married. Almost as if I am in a movie that they can interact with in real time. I tell them that I feel the same except wearing jewelery is a bit new to me and weddings are expensive. They are a great tree. It is like crossing a threshold and people start asking me more-other-newer questions now but I cut them off at the pass by hitting them with uncomfortable questions like prostate exams and centrifugal force. I have a whole new level of escape routes now. I no longer have to depend solely on my own aloofness but now my wife is a whole other pallet on which I can draw.

One time I retorted that I would be lucky to get struck by lightning - just as rain clouds crossed the sky - people went rushing inside. Most only consider staying alive as a blessing. "Ligthning strikes the tallest objects" is logical. But where logic fails you can use more religious arguments. People find this uncomfortable. It is a strange way of thinking about life in turns of the worst outcomes being some sort of curse. The true test is how to remain calm under pressure - keeping a steady head when everything is going wrong. Listening to your heart beat inside the silence of your mind. Finding that silence is hard. Rise above it, look down and you will see that everything is a journey.

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