Are the days where people actually marry because they are in love really gone? Its not in totality, but it definitely is on it's way out. The 21st century men are now more picky in choosing a partner for life, seeing that finances play a pivotal role and is the number one killer of relationships and marriages.
His life partner has to have a job or be carrying in some form of income into the union. Gone are the days, when a man took a wife and promised her family to take care of her. In the olden days, the woman would be responsible for the home and kids, while the man was the sole bread winner. Now, things have changed tremendously as both partners have to take home the bread.
Evidence of this so called new age type of union is evident, even in pop culture and notable in a popular song titled I dont mind by Usher featuring Juicy J. In the song, Usher states that even if shes dancing on the pole as long as shes making her money, he wont mind. Note, Usher is a Grammy award winning singer and song writer. He has sold out many concerts and it would seem that money would not be an issue when it comes to him. Yet, he's the one that has taken on the responsibility of showing men that hey, its ok that even though she doesnt makes her bread conventionally, the fact is that shes contributing to paying the bills.
Three (3) attributes that the 21st century man looks for in a woman he chooses to make a wife.
1. She must be independent Some men no longer want their women to be totally dependent on them financially. Her independence (as long as shes not making more money than him) is vital for the longevity of the relationship. Plain and straight, she must have a job.
2. She must be ambitious Even if she doesn't have the regular 9 - 5 She should have initiative and ambition to want to better herself. Even if it's a hustle, like stripping according to Usher, he wont mind as long as you can help pay the light bill.
3. She must be coming into the union with some form of asset like a house or car or well off family which can help out when times get hard and not her two long hand. The 21st century man is more quick to marry a woman who already has her own stuff or whose family has a business and some links in the business world which he can somehow benefit from. There has to be something that he should be benefiting from the relationship. He is looking for someone who can 'help him out' as well.
While sex is still the most important thing to men; these days, women have to bring more to the table than just sex and a hot body. The value of sex has fallen so drastically, that little importance is placed on actual relationships. Men don't need to wife or wine and dine a girl following the 90 day rule to have sex. Instead, if and when he's ready to settle, his partner has to be exceptional and it doesn't hurt if she has a little change in the bank.
So, to the 21st century man, go forth and prosper. Love is secondary, right?
As I grow older the things I like are more fuzzy. I am no longer a kid in a candy shop. My dentist says I should visit more often as she stares at me through her thick glasses prescribed for her near-sited-ness. She is the one that needs to work less often. The things that annoy me are more prevalent. I am not waiting for lunchtime or for Friday cause inside this fet is my home. The world is amazing. I just have to figure out what part of it I should be enjoying right at this moment. Its hard to tell.
It is interesting to see how facebook reacts when someone dies. The network effect spreads like wild fire until our mothers start asking if they know the friend of a friend who is being R.I.P-ed. There is a certain finality to death. Other things in life you can recover from, miss, sway back and forth and hope for a better future. The little beautiful things. We all cope in different ways. No one know whats will be the death of us but at least you can love the life you live - even if its not perfect. Dont worry about life and give the best of you. Live the life you love. Do not spend your time being a self-righteous nuisance.
As I am writing this I am alone in a crowd of people. Obviously this is not my domain but I am hear now, waiting. I am the seeker. Staring at the Heinz bottle of ketchup - one third full. Why am I here? I could certainly get cheaper food elsewhere, watch people walk by at room temperature. That is a tall glass of water that I will not consume for fear that it will spoil my appetite. To some people this might be commonplace; to me it is a moment in time - slowly drifting.
At the core we all want to be happy in a world of limited resources. We all want to indulge, eat cheese all day everyday - be saved from our own damnation. We want to be perfect. We want to ride a never ending wave of entertainment. Are you not entertained? We want to feel special. We want to be apart of a group. We want to survive. But in all of this there is work to be done and things to build. Bricks in a wall.
I am not easily entertained. I am a seeker. I am searching for the ultimate high tower from which to look out into the distance and find the answer that will help me help everyone to be happy. I have not found it yet. I care not to retread old ground in the name of diligence. I am hiding in the tall grass, making a bed, waiting on that moment to save a life. Times like these I care not to be a super star.
There are few things I care about. I may have mentioned them before or you may have noticed. There are a few things I fear which I may have mentioned before. The latter is doubtful because one of the things I fear is that you might use the the things I fear against me to hasten my certain death. Or worst yet use them to annoy me while I am alive. Cause you aint got nutten better to do with your time that to be a shadow of your true self. A reflection on a wall. A solid object stopping the light from reaching its true destination.
I am really trying to balance things out but it is hard sometimes to remember all the things for which I should be grateful but sometimes I can't feel my face. I just keep going, enjoying my time in the sun without letting anyone suck the energy out of me. Everyday is another day we get by. Only by grace. It is hard to live like everyday is Christmas because there is ALWAYS something to annoy you. The best you can do is realise that no matter how bad it gets, there is no better time than the present. Change it.
There is no comfort in the truth. Are we having fun yet? We should be. Sun is shining. Everything is good.
I saw a little car passing with surf boards on top. While waiting at the airport - I wondered where they were going. They must know a good place to surf. So then I went to take some pictures of the lighthouse and I got a call that I had to wait until 8:30. Low and behold I saw the surfers in the distance. The spot could not be that far away. I had all the motivation I needed. Off I go into the great unknown. Wow, I am way behind on my writing.
I got a lot to lose. Everyday we survive by the mercy of the cosmos. I had some other bits and pieces written down but I figured I should "wing" this one. I am not sure what I need. I often try to explain how it all works to other people but they do not understand. They are obsessed with their own worlds. I will deviate just a little bit today.
I have been listening to 4 gigs of Soca music over the past few weeks. I cannot stop. I must continue until I am a wreck upon the tracks. Like a train, rolling down a very steep hill. I am full of focus and all you care about is the little hope you have left. Put your lips to mine, put a little love inside. I know pretty hurts but I have to focus. I cannot miss you because I have too many hobbies yet unfinished. Hunger hurts.
As I said before I had previously written stuff down but I left them too long on the fire until they have lost all meaning. What is life without meaning? How can I set your soul at ease? You are either chasing something down, or preaching to the converted. I do not care either way because all is for a time. And soon all this will be a long time ago.