Like a drug you never had before. I am still, post traumatic, stress like a monkey that lost his favorite perch in the tree of life. Like a headless chicken. Like an apocalypse of the real world. I don't think. Swimming in a narrow channel of time that is rapidly getting narrower and narrower like my finances. Only time will tell.
In a sea of bad choices you will get a mouthful of dirty water no matter how good a swimmer you are. I am in the supermarket line and the 2 women in front of me have picked up more items than their money can buy. If the lady behind me keeps bumping me with her kart I am going to get really annoyed.
I swore I wrote the last paragraph a few weeks ago and it lost in a pit of technology. I could try to dig it out but I am pretty sure that it would not be worth the extra effort it would take. Bad enough I had the previous paragraphs waiting at the alter of life for like two months or so. I shan't belay anymore fear they may wait in vain.
Been hanging out at local fast food restaurant again, lately. Not for the amazingly unpredictable mess that is anything aside from patties. But for the random crowd of people that have no choice in buying food (and my lack of transportation) Or maybe they keep forgetting. Every so often I have a lapse of judgment and I buy something that is not a patty. Its almost as if I take pleasure in torturing myself. Slowly going through the menu until I have assured my self that my convictions are in fact true. One day this food will kill somebody and I will be here to put it on youtube.
What goes around comes around but I don't think I have the patience to wait on karma. Its dog eat dog, poor people stealing from poor people - who can run will run. I've spent too long trying to avoid fools but they seem to find me nonetheless. A monkey can't swing on his tree in peace. I hope it works out but you are on my hate list. In the days of my youth I was told what it means to be a man. Now I reached that age I try to do the best I can. Good times, bad times.
Enjoy your time in the sun because whether you are high or low you got to tip on the tight rope. Live fast die young. All we have is time and our walls to keep us safe. I really need to keep up the pace on my writings. I fear I maybe sucked into my own self delusion and I will forget what it feels like to be foolish and free.
I am never the emotional guy. The way I see it, things can always get worse - no matter how bad it is. Don't worry about me. This time around I just want to curl up in to a ball. There is nothing that can really be done. The more I sink in the sea of dispear - I need to think and thinking makes me fall deeper and deeper like swimming in quicksand. I will have to climb back out eventually but I don't know when or how. I have to struggle with the ability to let go of things that don't matter. All the shit drowns us at some point.
I hate listening to talk radio in public transport. Especially when the host likes to hear his own voice and keeps repeating the same question as if forgets everything every 10 minutes and needs to constantly memorized his own brain. Makes me want to scream at the radio; "yes, I heard you the first 20 times! Its shocking! Really I believe you!". I keep wondering if he ever runs out of things that we should be shocked about. Its all the same shit.
I am jack's wasted life. I would rather avoid certain life experiences. Even if they say they that it will make you stronger but life is heavy. There is nothing I hate more than being set back. Being set back is like digging a hole with a spoon and then having the rain fall and wash away your hard work. All and can do now is put my mind to work on something that will help me pass the wasted time.
Tami commented: That sounds a lot like Barry G, the Boogey Man.
The pompous asswipe of a radio host. I honestly do not know why people listen to him on the daily. And its always bus drivers or taxi men as if they will somehow learn something new. ... read 2 more
There is a strong chance that everything you have done so far and everything you are about to do has already been done. Very few things are truly unique. You are not special. The only thing that matters is what u do now and what happens later as a result of your actions. You are always on a path to somewhere, even if it seems like you are just spinning around. When the shit goes down you better be ready.
When ever I attend any kind of event I play a game of count the smartphone brand. I always look for the person with the biggest tablet phone and sit behind them so that they can block my view of the stage while they try to take pictures with a small portable television - I wonder if they get HBO. Even on the most cloudy day the sun will come out and scorch the earth with solar happiness and radiation.
Whenever you join a line always try to figure out if there is a chance you might die waiting around for your single order of seasoned fries. Disregard all previous lines, especially if you are trying this line for the first time. Lines are mysterious beasts. Focus on the current line at hand and concentrate. Things might have changed, norms may have been switched around and become commandments in the book of the dead.
I am on a mission of self discovery. Nobody understands satire or social commentary nowadays. People so shallow, on the surface like a dragonfly. Existing only on a plane in which they can do the least thinking and still talk as much as everyone else in the room. I think I need to quit facebook. It is becoming like a pit filled with emptiness rolling down a hill and bouncing on rocks while making lots of noise.
I figure that everyone needs someone to love. What ever you do in life, whatever you want is all a measure of what you are willing to give up. All things come to those who wait, but you waste a lot of time waiting for it to come along. Enjoy the journey. Way too cold.
I have noticed that people in general have become more abstract over time. Not in the cool abstract art kinda way like a paper bag floating in the air or like a monkey. But like a brick in a wall painted over in white - you can see the texture of what lies beneath but they just keep adding layers and layers of white paint until there is nothing left but a smooth surface, glossy and shine. Click.