Modern life-living in the future is a money pit (too many hobbies)
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written by owen on 2018-Jan-17.
Seriously I cannot afford to buy the new iphone and a data plan because I have too many hobbies. Too many hobbies is like having a disease that you constantly need to buy medication to treat. A disease that never gets better because the medication has side effects. So I end up in a circle or a square or an endless shape that folds back onto itself.
I am distracted but I must have those new t-shirts that just dropped because they look and feel so awesome on the java script online start-up my friend on facebag just launched. I simply must have them but I need to get a credit card or some mobile money.
I should get 4k HDR monitor too but my computer cannot push that many pixels so I will have to wait until I can buy a new video card. Maybe I should just buy a whole new computer because since I upgraded to windows X I have been having all sorts of issues. The new computer will finally fix those driver issues and allow me to play all the free games I got on the steam summer sale on super-ultra settings. Or I could just get one of those new pro consoles? But then I would need a subscription to play online. Too many hobbies.
I could skip the iphone cult and join the Android cult but there is no guarantee that it will keep getting updates or it will not brick itself in 6 months. I have all my songs in itunes. If I go android I have to buy the absolute most expensive version on the market. Or skip the whole smartphone thing altogether but how will I get a girl if me no have a phone and whatsapp and lots of likes on instagram? I will certainly be lost without my favorite apps that allow me to follow everyone everywhere every minute and every second while I sit at home doing nothing.
Worse if I have a tendency to drop phones in toilets and at a bad angle on concrete causing the screen to smash. There might be drugs available for this sickness. Or I could take up tennis or juggling to improve my hand eye coordination. Struggles. My life will be incomplete if my phone does not feel good in my hand.
Scratch all that I will just keep my old phone. Who really needs VR? And mobile data plans are too expensive, I will just get the 4k smart TV and subscribe to an online video streaming service so that I can watch movies at 4k at home in peace while paying a small fee every month. If I need data on the road all I need is to go into a coffee shop and leech off their free wifi. But then I will need to buy food there or they will catch on to my leeching ways. The 4k tv is going to be hard to hide under my shirt.
I totally forgot that streaming 4k video is going to require a really fast home internet. hmmm. There are some good deals on broadband internet but I probably will have to get a bundle with phone+cable+internet just so that I can get decent internet speed and that will run me into even more expense and extra crap.
Better yet I could simply stick to browsing instagram on the cheapest package but I am not sure I want to stare at hyper embellished photos all day. I better avoid instagram because it is just another looker pit with auto-play video advertisements. I might not beable to resist the temptation to buy everything I see and red eye people. I just want to do my hobbies in peace without waiting 5 hours for my playstation 4 to download a 50 gig update for a game I bought on disc.
I could start a youtube travel channel or something. All I would need is a really good camera and join the gym so I can look ripped and meet a hot fashion model who has an apartment in the center of town. Get a car so I can visit all the cool places to take pictures and videos for my subscribers while I go to all the parties and make money from my side sponserships.
But alas. I got too many hobbies.
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comments
Good stuff! Your wrting style reminds me of Chuck Lorre's (Creator of The Big Gang Theory) vanity cards :)
by Le-Noi 2018-May-22