2020 is moving all sorts of ways. I had to look back at my previous logbook entry to determine where I am at in life, in space and in time. Trajectory? What can I say we still here. Live fi di summer. The confusion of the new normal is only going to get worse as people realize that they are wasting their time trying to avoid something that at this point is pretty much a part of nature.
I have been doing nothing but taking pictures since I got my new camera. It is my new spiral. I will probably break this camera before the end of the year - either by natural causes (dust, water damage, etc) or by eating too much fast food or being stabbed when I go out to take street photography. Tried printing a few to see how it looks in the real physical world. Print is a bit expensive but it's fun to see what people like in the real physical form.
I've been posting some black and white pictures on IG not because I like it but because its been a while since I wasted any of my time on building numbers. Better go enjoy it while it lasts. I think I got 5 followers in 4 weeks with 10 likes on average. I estimate I have posted 150 pictures since I started on September 4, 2020. So its kind of ok in comparison to FB. I have pretty much given up on FB.
I have been mulling over the new camera thing for like 6 months now. I even wrote 2 new articles in the technology section showing my lust for new kit. The technology section has not been updated in months which shows you how often I buy new tech. Some people buy random gadgets every week but I do not like the clutter of acquiring things I do not use frequently except for maybe old videogames.
I ordered some parts for my car online and my bank told me that I cannot use my card on any uncommon website unless I send them a list of websites I would like to purchase stuff from. This is the connected internet future. I have used the website before but between then and now something has changed and this is the problem with internet technology: the things that change are random, chaotic and constnat. The internet of things is worse than a secret society.
All things being equal you have to do something, keep moving forward, keep changing, keep being the same. Until you cant or you go on a short vacation. Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings' end. stuff like that. When I fill up my memory card I will start posting new pictures. I also need to reconfigure my website hosting too because I am going to need more gigs. Lots to do.
Well these are certainly interesting times. One would not ever in a million years have guessed that the world could exist in such a state. If someone had told me this several years ago I would have thought them mad because there is "no budget", "no budget for this" (in a Chinese accent). But magically so it is and here we are. But what can we do? We just keep chugging on.
I need a new camera but I need to write a whole technical article on the "whys" and "why nots". As I always do - I must think about everything in depth. It is a skill I have grown to understand as I get older. You cannot regret something that you spent 6 months in quarantine thinking about. The thoughts cemented in your brain so hard you would need hard drugs to dislodge. We your reality is not "real" your tend to be very on happy. But even happiness in itself is a construct of your imagination.
If you asked me what I have been doing for the past couple weeks I could not tell you. Though I am working on stuff it is rather hard to see clearly now the rain is gone, all of the dark clouds have disappeared. What it is with all this confusion and fear mongering going on in society. If consider that we are living on a ball of fire which is spinning around another gigantic ball of fire - people seem to want to ignore this fact and create little personal blankets in which they can roll around inside while they rage war on other people.
It is a natural for humans to be consumed by their environment. Whether willingly or by the share abundance of external stimuli. We will wallow in our own shit for days on end like a comfortable blanket we had as a child. If all you have a hammer then everything seems like a nail. I need to stay off social media for a bit because it is clearly wasting my time.
It has been an interest past couple of months. I have not had a hair cut since February and I am trying to see how far I can grow it before I am forced to get a hair cut. I have tried to grow it before but now I have a valid excuse which I can use to live my big hair, afro, 70s, disco lifestyle. Only downside is that I have to wash my hair every other day.
I live in a state of constant imperfection. The closer I get the more I know that I cannot reach where I want to go. It is fun to try. Why do anything at all if not to aim for perfection? Be all you can be? Extraordinary machine?
If the things I do not have could save me from my current maintenance headaches then I would live forever searching for these things - that I do not have. But alas somethings you cannot escape. As the old people used to say "they are apart of life" like how trees are apart of the leaves. Do not focus too much on your current struggles. Everything is phase. Everything moves from one thing to the next. I try to enjoy the present with a view that one needs to be resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering for at any moment or time a little detail could and will can change ever so slightly.
I really should be enjoying this early summer slash working from home. But remote work is trash. Remote work is like pooping where you eat or eating your own dog food. I already have a "at home" work routine. And on the other hand a "at work" work routine. THESE HANDS DO NOT CLAP! Mixing these 2 leads to severe unproductivity. I have lost track of the days. I like that there is no traffic on the roads but I hate that everywhere you go you need to line up for hours. All those people who prayed Jamaica was a orderly place must be in heaven now - but this cant last - it shant.
Somethings you will only understand when there is no one left to ask the question. The fresh air of nothingness frees the mind. When no more connections can be formed in the circuits of your mind you will know in certain finality that this is what it all meant. It is hard to explain like physics. You know the thing is in front of you because you can see it but is it really there? And as you turn your pretty little face away will it be there tomorrow? Why does it have to be like this? I can never tell. But this is the way it has to be.