There is something magical about words and their ability to convey deep meaning, affection and everything that affects the human race. Nicely packaged or rawly thrown. That's not a real world by the way but yet that's the wonderful part. New words are made everyday.
I tried it. I went out naked in the sea. Lightening struck, it was beautiful but I could see the danger lurking beneath its beautiful waves. Amazing power and prowess. So easy to lose yourself in its glow. Get dressed, you can't be out here naked. You'll get hurt like you've never been before.
I put on my dress and armor and look at its delightful glow from a distance, loving it so deeply but never forgetting its power.
The game of poker. One that requires skill, strategy and the very important ability to give no signs of what hand you have been dealt. The making of the poker face, perfected out of necessity in a personal and professional war room. It serves so many purposes, I could go on and on. Frankly I hate it. Ive always thought the greatest thing on the planet is to truly express every thing as you feel it. But alas everything must be carefully planned and executed on time with the right resources and never letting your opponent ever have clue about anything until the very moment.
Done so easily and without thought. The display of blankness leaving your opponent completely clueless and at your knees. Waiting.. Waiting.. For your carefully planned flick of a switch. Human robotics.
Why? Its safeguard and great safe-fail, designed to have minimal disruption or harm in the event of a failure. And of course you sit and watch the play for failure so very often. All the while knowing that this long game of strategy for which you are fully equipped to wait it out. But there is hardly a win and failing fast is the least painful. A quick brush and a forgotten bruise. Taking too long to fail leads to painful consequences. But there must be a win. Why play the game if there isnt. Like the lottery, when you win its big.
So I step out on to a new planet, leaving the suit and armor on earth where it belongs. It has no place here. Everything is done in reverse except for that well served play thats non-negotiable.
There is an enormous knot in the pit of the stomach, sometimes leading to immense joy and at other times a nervousness born out of vulnerability. A quandary that only happens to the exposed. No poker face? Naked!
It is the things that you want that get you into the most trouble. I may have said this before, I cannot remember because I have been slacking off on my writing, stretched thin is a forest with tall trees. Maybe I should regroup but then that is probably something I want rather than a move that I necessary "need" to make. There is not winning no matter what you do. Balancing the struggle is increasingly difficult. You have to let somethings go in order to live and more over you never know what vice is going to bring you to an early grave.
There are disadvantages to everything under the sun. Choosing to focus only on the positives is really a choice left up to the individual involved. Living in a dream world is totally up to personal preference. It does not affect reality. Determination can get you some of the way but no one knows for sure what will take you the last 50% of the journey. The bus has already left the station. Whatever makes you sleep well at night. The only way to make a true calculation of risk is to be able to remember both sides of the coin or not play at all. Worrying about things out of your control is a waste of time.
Either way birds and reptiles are different fundamentally as long as the rules of the world stays the same. If you are gonna try to change the world you might as well go big and change the whole world instead of just a few little things that you currently find fascinating. If you really want to play the stock market game you have to have a lot of expendable liquid income. Otherwise you are not going to get far.
Everybody needs a hobby. In a world with so much to do its not surprising that people will gravitate to anything in order to past the time like a rouge asteroid flying through space only to become entangled by a star. We all need something to love. Most people do not even realise the hobby that they have and most other people could care less. Eventually everyone comes to terms with what is real as opposed to what they dream about or what they hope for.
The depth and circumference of our "worlds" vary from time to time just like our hobbies. Who can really know what you are thinking about right at this moment or tomorrow? Everyone spends thier time creating little worlds in which they live. Sometimes we exist in other people's worlds. Sometimes worlds spiral around each other in a delicate balance. Other times worlds collide and destroy each other forever.
It has all been done before - everything. The only thing you can hope to achieve is that knowledge that you had some fun. Because you never know. Tomorrow you might become a different person with different hobbies, living in a different world and the things you once hold dear will be gone away.
The man that knows something knows that he knows nothing at all. Everyone is secretly hoping they win the lottery in one way or the other. There is a hidden need or want for something inside of everyone. If its a need or a want is always the point of confusion. I just want to get through the day without hydroplaning into an unmovable object at 110 kmph. Life is all about physics - I have said this before. You are here, we are here until we are not. No use talking about what you plan to do next year when there are perfectly good things to talk about right now - in this instant. Hold your breath and feel the pressure build up inside you chest.
I was programming some stuff which I do for work until I came upon a problem that I could not solve by just being clever. These problems are the worse kind because I know I am no good and my limits are as clear as a brand new glass windows. The sun in the sky knows how I feel. I stare blankly at the wall hoping that a stroke of genius will free me from ignorance. I might have to just leave the problem and move until something else. Why stress yourself out?
Somethings I just have to avoid completely for my own sanity. I can - not - deal with - not even - one more addiction. I wont take your expensive fish fry ticket not because I do not like fish or do not want to support your meaningless cause but I can see far down the road and I am not about that life of suffering. Delayed suffering is pretty much the worse things you can do to someone. Good intentions aside I would rather say no right now that supper the disappointment which is certain to come down the road. Of course you have to spend you time doing something.
