I realize that I will only feel this way for a small period of time, big dreams, gangster. Break, I will love you till the end of time, probably a million years. I prefer to stand in the open space and watch the waves bob and sway. Each one different from the other but the same as the next. Everything works out in the end.
Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it just gets transferred from one form to another like bad fashion - the 80s are never coming back. The bigger the vehicle the more energy it needs to go - its simple laws of physics. Some of this energy has got to lost somewhere.
I took 5 days vacation from work to find myself and what I found was that life is but a series of experiences and sitting in a large groups of people until your legs fall asleep. Fun times. The bank lady said that credit cards are a good thing to have - lol - at the same time she tried to sell me a loan to pay off an existing car loan. Its a dog eat dog world.
Recently I have been on a path of self discovery, like driving the wrong way down a one-way street and getting stopped by the police for speeding. Goddamn speed traps are everywhere. I hope they use my contribution to nation building for good and not for an early election. Either way you never know where that money goes, its like a wild bear in a forest, roaming around, defecating on your microphone.
I missed my usual morning glass of hard liquor this morning, I must have run out, yet again. It is funny how the things you love the most will slowly but surely kill you. There are things are more important than your habitual need to jerk it off while living out your childhood dream. At some point you just have to go cold turkey and hope that no one notices that you are not the same as you were yesterday. Its the freak en weekend. I will drink to that.
I often walk up to the awful fast food restaurant for lunch, not because I enjoy putting myself in mortal danger but because I try not to be the same. I think there is something to be gained from sitting in a room full of strangers who like to eat bad food. There is also the added benefit of seeing grown women pop their breasts out to feed their 4 year old baby - I am not sure that at that age you can call the child a baby anymore. These fries taste as if they are under cooked, still its not that bad because a some of them are burnt.
True freedom can only come from understanding one's self. You will find life much simpler once you figure out the kind of monster that you have become. Sometimes I will sit and watch people walk by at lunchtime and I would try to imagine what they are looking forward to, what numbers they played in the lotto, and where they would rather be at this very moment in time. The men are clearly hungry, the children want to go home and play, the old woman is deep in thought as she carefully sips her soup. The women want a longer walkway so their hips can be fully appreciated. Its a mixed bag. Your differences make you special.
Of course there are the odd few lurking in the shadows, biding their time and planning their escape. I am sure what they want, my best guess is that if they could they would build a fence around the building so that everybody would be trapped inside, walking around in and infinite loop. It makes perfect sense. Sometimes desire is its own master.
My lunch time is over and though I have things to do and people to see - I have to break my own rules like a monkey. Plus I have to finish writing, if I leave now, I may lose the moment, my future words may be muddied by shifting tides and swaying hips. I have capture the moment in words before they turn into memories. Stop.
Around here the weeks seem to get shorter and shorter like the first graders in high school. In fact the time seems to fly by as I get taller and older waiting for my chicken sandwich at Island Grill. Truth of the matter is that the time is constant, my fries just get cold if I don't eat them fast enough. The catch with that is if you eat too fast you might bite your tongue.
I hate - is a strong word - receptionists and information desks. The people, not the actual desks - I love desks, chairs and puppies. Receptionists on the other hand has a mandate to be rid of you as soon as possible. It would not be so bad if they were actually giving me the information that I needed but instead of trying to send me somewhere else without giving me any warnings about the death traps that lay before me. I instantly assume that the person in front of me is a idiot placed on this earth to troll innocent people and spoil my day.
I need to get my car painted soon. My attempt to acquire sponsorship for a gigantic sticker proved fruitless and expensive. The information desk was of no help. Can not get no satisfaction. Having a car with a peculiar colour further amplified my problems. Emerald blue pearl turns out to be a magical mix of colors and getting it to match seemlessly with the rest of the car may prove to be tricky. At the going rate I would go broke if I repainted the entire car. Bueaty is skin deep. They cannot love you like I love you.
So far September has been a ridiculously expensive month. Upon joining the cult of the blackberry it seems like there is no end to the madness. Out of curiosity I added a local TV show to my contact list and they proceded to barage me with broadcast messages about events and giveaways - it seemed as if there was a 24 hour party going on somewhere that I did not know about.
I spent all of last weekend playing with myself in the hopes that I would not have to spend any more money. The modern lifestyle seems to be wrapped in a cycle of debt and expenses. I switched to the Discovery Channel and noted that lions are the most boring animals on television, except maybe the twins on TeachasPet. All they do is sit around and wait for something that they can catch and eat - they don't even cook it first. They must be able to save tons of money.
Politics, what can I say about it? 29% is crazy for the condition of the roads that I have to drive on in the mornings. Which reminds me I have to pay my toll charges so I can drive on Highway2000. Think of it as a bus fare for cars. Or maybe a car-fare for people. At this rate I will have to draw for the nearly $200 worth of loose change I have been collecting in my desk for the times when co-workers try to pressure me into contributing to pointless fund-raisers put on by the schools of their kids, kids of their schools OR schools of their churchs. This ain't no place for no hero. To go home.