written by owen on 2017-Dec-11.

I will not be able to spend the last weeks of the year in the cold of the country because I have to work. Working through Christmas has always annoyed me to the core which is why I retreat from the hustle and bustle and the temptation to over spend to sweep leaves under a tree with no one around. Return to my used to be playground from whence cometh my health, my health cometh from the Lord.

My life is in constant conflict with perspective, past, and present. I rely on people being themselves a lot, probably too much. I assume that everyone is being their best selves at all times, doing exactly what they want to do at that very moment in time. And if not exactly then they are waiting for their moment if satisfaction tom come in short order before the world falls away. One might be playing all the angles, checking the odds or passing time. But whatever it is at that moment in time that is you - at least in my mind.

Once someone loses faith there is no going back. Wash in your old bath water. But then again faith is a matter of perspective and you have no control over which way it may go. As the world turns. Tomorrow never dies. Change is constant like Sunday morning, everything just keeps turning. What you think and how it actually is, are not the same thing but what does it matter? How you feel is drives our illusions.

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