owenSoft.net - Logbook http://owensoft.net/ Odes to my coy mistress. Metaphysical poetry updated weekly. en http://owensoft.net http://owensoft.net/favicon.png owenSoft.net http://owensoft.net/ http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2445/ King of Sorrow (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2445/ <p>Everyone has a flaw or 2. The more time you spend with people the more you know. We are flawed by nature. It is like living in a cage with a tiger. The most you can hope for is that you are not there when the tiger is hungry and has nothing else to eat. Or worst yet you decide to eat the tiger and the tiger tastes bad. You just have to do your best to understand what you are taught. Gleaming as much as you can amidst the chaos that is all around. Knowledge, wisdom and understanding.</p><p>I want to write an article about the perils of driving in Jamaica. That in fact it is not the speeding that kills but the inconsideration of people towards each other and of course the physics of stopping suddenly. But I fear that if I do this I might jinx myself and crash and die in a burning ball of flames and everyone will say that that was the guy that wrote the article on how to drive in Jamaica. I am not sure if I have already paid enough for my future sins.</p><p>It is like that time a police man made me take a bly instead of giving me a bly. To normal people this would seem fine but to me it is like giving me a cross to drag through the streets like Jesus. If someone gives you a bly there is no problem it is a like a blessing but if you &quot;take&quot; a bly - GOD HELP YOU! Instead of paying the price you are beholden to return the favor to someone else which is like a curse of gratitude. Its complicated, you will figure it out when you are older.</p><p></p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2445/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Mon, 15 Jan 2018 11:34:29 -0600 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2442/ Abundance (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2442/ <p>Wow, 2018. We have crossed the hump and are now barrelling straight down through another set of birthdays, holidays and global catastrophes.. I thought the Christmas period would never end as I try to eat three cakes by myself. The Christmas tree is still standing because I dread the chore of taking it down and repackaging it in a box in which it will surely not fit. What is life without change?</p><p>The date for the ending of Whatsapp support for me phone has come and gone but I do not care really. Idle chatter is only going to keep me from doing what I want to do and dreaming about the future only stops you from doing what you can do now. So its back to BBM or email or phone calls. Probably I will start walking around with my camera again and updating my website more often.</p><p>I try not to be a heavy weight on the shoulders of other people. Because I am not certain of anything. Or I like to exist as a part of a greater whole and I do not want to pretend to be special. Do it for the love. Every dance might be your last so I am always cautious as a survival mechanism. Nothing really matters except for the trees that you climb, the good memories and the falls you survive.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2442/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Wed, 03 Jan 2018 07:28:56 -0600 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2437/ All you want (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2437/ <p>At times do you ever wonder if you are living someone else&#039;s life? Like you are supposed to be somewhere else instead of where you are now? Or maybe you fear that you are not yet strong enough to live that life. It does not matter. All that matters is monkeys and trees and water. Everything else is just a filter. You are already what you are going to be.</p><p>I have been posting a lot recently. Trying to make up for an entire <a rel='external' href='/v4/archive/2017/' title='year of'>year of</a> slack and distraction, death and despair. I have not been getting many comments though but I am still irie. I do it for the love, not the likes. Well it could be a bug in the code that I may have missed and no one has gual to tell me about it because they fear that they may come off as stupid for asking question. News flash: there are not stupid questions - only stupid answers.</p><p>My Christmas budget is over run and its only like day 20. I am pretty much done and I hear a croaking sound in the front end that I fear to call the mechanic about. I just have to be strong and survive until at least January. But the future is yet unwritten all I can do is sit wait. No need to be complacent. You can dance, you can jive having the time of your life but I am taking it easy.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2437/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Fri, 22 Dec 2017 07:14:44 -0600 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2432/ If It Makes You Happy (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2432/ <p>I will not be able to spend the last weeks of the year in the cold of the country because I have to work. Working through Christmas has always annoyed me to the core which is why I retreat from the hustle and bustle and the temptation to over spend to sweep leaves under a tree with no one around. Return to my used to be playground from whence cometh my health, my health cometh from the Lord.</p><p>My life is in constant conflict with perspective, past, and present. I rely on people being themselves a lot, probably too much. I assume that everyone is being their best selves at all times, doing exactly what they want to do at that very moment in time. And if not exactly then they are waiting for their moment if satisfaction tom come in short order before the world falls away. One might be playing all the angles, checking the odds or passing time. But whatever it is at that moment in time that is you - at least in my mind.</p><p>Once someone loses faith there is no going back. Wash in your old bath water. But then again faith is a matter of perspective and you have no control over which way it may go. As the world turns. Tomorrow never dies. Change is constant like Sunday morning, everything just keeps turning. What you think and how it actually is, are not the same thing but what does it matter? How you feel is drives our illusions.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2432/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Mon, 11 Dec 2017 07:30:53 -0600 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2419/ Such Great Hieghts (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2419/ <p>Cars are constantly moving towards chaos like sand on a beach. No matter how much you wash them or take care of them they are slowly trying to separate into little pieces. Right now I have break disc wobble and I will either have to get the disks skimmed or replaced. Maintenance is something that will always be necessary unless you can afford to buy a new car every few years.</p><p>Human beings are very short sited by nature. Naturally. I myself will choose (more times than not) short term dis-satisfaction over long ambiguity. Cause nothing really last forever. Whether it be good or bad, the pendulum always swings because it has to. There is no other way. Riding the breaks. You have to give up some things to live. And everything you get takes away something else. Whether you know it or not we are not special, we are not machines. No one is perfect. Today, right now is both the best days and the worst of days and only for a time and forever.</p><p>So this is where I am. For the first time in a long time I am going to have to work through Christmas. Things change I guess. I am off schedule and have probably lost my way. But you gots to do what you gots to do. After all in the end the only things that matter are the things you give away.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2419/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Sat, 25 Nov 2017 22:50:02 -0600 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2416/ Poker (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2416/ <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2416/"><img src="http://owensoft.net/v4/photo/thumb/2487.jpg" /></a><p>The game of poker. One that requires skill, strategy and the very important ability to give no signs of what hand you have been dealt. The making of the poker face, perfected out of necessity in a personal and professional war room. It serves so many purposes, I could go on and on. Frankly I hate it. I’ve always thought the greatest thing on the planet is to truly express every thing as you feel it. But alas everything must be carefully planned and executed on time with the right resources and never letting your opponent ever have clue about anything until the very moment.</p><p>Done so easily and without thought. The display of blankness leaving your opponent completely clueless and at your knees. Waiting….. Waiting….. For your carefully planned flick of a switch. Human robotics.</p><p>Why? It’s safeguard and great safe-fail, designed to have minimal disruption or harm in the event of a failure. And of course you sit and watch the play for failure so very often. All the while knowing that this long game of strategy for which you’re fully equipped to wait it out. But there is hardly a win and failing fast is the least painful. A quick brush and a forgotten bruise. Taking too long to fail leads to painful consequences. But there must be a win. Why play the game if there isn’t. Like the lottery, when you win it’s big.</p><p>So I step out on to a new planet, leaving the suit and armor on earth where it belongs. It has no place here. Everything is done in reverse except for that well served play that’s non-negotiable.</p><p>There is an enormous knot in the pit of the stomach, sometimes leading to immense joy and at other times a nervousness born out of vulnerability. A quandary that only happens to the exposed. No poker face? Naked!</p> <p><strong>by DLBG</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2416/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Wed, 22 Nov 2017 05:55:28 -0600 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2417/ Beautiful Words (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2417/ <p>There is something magical about words and their ability to convey deep meaning, affection and everything that affects the human race. Nicely packaged or rawly thrown. That&#039;s not a real world by the way but yet that&#039;s the wonderful part. New words are made everyday.</p><p>I tried it. I went out naked in the sea. Lightening struck, it was beautiful but I could see the danger lurking beneath its beautiful waves. Amazing power and prowess. So easy to lose yourself in its glow. Get dressed, you can&#039;t be out here naked. You&#039;ll get hurt like you&#039;ve never been before.</p><p>I put on my dress and armor and look at its delightful glow from a distance, loving it so deeply but never forgetting its power.</p> <p><strong>by DLBG</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2417/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Wed, 22 Nov 2017 05:55:28 -0600 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2404/ Love is like Oxygen (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2404/ <p>It is the things that you want that get you into the most trouble. I may have said this before, I cannot remember because I have been slacking off on my writing, stretched thin is a forest with tall trees. Maybe I should regroup but then that is probably something I want rather than a move that I necessary &quot;need&quot; to make. There is not winning no matter what you do. Balancing the struggle is increasingly difficult. You have to let somethings go in order to live and more over you never know what vice is going to bring you to an early grave.</p><p>There are disadvantages to everything under the sun. Choosing to focus only on the positives is really a choice left up to the individual involved. Living in a dream world is totally up to personal preference. It does not affect reality. Determination can get you some of the way but no one knows for sure what will take you the last 50% of the journey. The bus has already left the station. Whatever makes you sleep well at night. The only way to make a true calculation of risk is to be able to remember both sides of the coin or not play at all. Worrying about things out of your control is a waste of time.</p><p>Either way birds and reptiles are different fundamentally as long as the rules of the world stays the same. If you are gonna try to change the world you might as well go big and change the whole world instead of just a few little things that you currently find fascinating. If you really want to play the stock market game you have to have a lot of expendable liquid income. Otherwise you are not going to get far.</p><p></p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2404/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Fri, 03 Nov 2017 19:43:32 -0500 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2391/ Bang bang bang (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2391/ <p>Everybody needs a hobby. In a world with so much to do its not surprising that people will gravitate to anything in order to past the time like a rouge asteroid flying through space only to become entangled by a star. We all need something to love. Most people do not even realise the hobby that they have and most other people could care less. Eventually everyone comes to terms with what is real as opposed to what they dream about or what they hope for.</p><p>The depth and circumference of our &quot;worlds&quot; vary from time to time just like our hobbies. Who can really know what you are thinking about right at this moment or tomorrow? Everyone spends thier time creating little worlds in which they live. Sometimes we exist in other people&#039;s worlds. Sometimes worlds spiral around each other in a delicate balance. Other times worlds collide and destroy each other forever.</p><p>It has all been done before - everything. The only thing you can hope to achieve is that knowledge that you had some fun. Because you never know. Tomorrow you might become a different person with different hobbies, living in a different world and the things you once hold dear will be gone away.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2391/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Wed, 09 Aug 2017 15:45:21 -0500 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2388/ Summer Snow (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2388/ <p>The man that knows something knows that he knows nothing at all. Everyone is secretly hoping they win the lottery in one way or the other. There is a hidden need or want for something inside of everyone. If its a need or a want is always the point of confusion. I just want to get through the day without hydroplaning into an unmovable object at 110 kmph. Life is all about physics - I have said this before. You are here, we are here until we are not. No use talking about what you plan to do next year when there are perfectly good things to talk about right now - in this instant. Hold your breath and feel the pressure build up inside you chest.</p><p>I was programming some stuff which I do for work until I came upon a problem that I could not solve by just being clever. These problems are the worse kind because I know I am no good and my limits are as clear as a brand new glass windows. The sun in the sky knows how I feel. I stare blankly at the wall hoping that a stroke of genius will free me from ignorance. I might have to just leave the problem and move until something else. Why stress yourself out?</p><p>Somethings I just have to avoid completely for my own sanity. I can - not - deal with - not even - one more addiction. I wont take your expensive fish fry ticket not because I do not like fish or do not want to support your meaningless cause but I can see far down the road and I am not about that life of suffering. Delayed suffering is pretty much the worse things you can do to someone. Good intentions aside I would rather say no right now that supper the disappointment which is certain to come down the road. Of course you have to spend you time doing something.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2388/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Wed, 12 Jul 2017 15:27:56 -0500 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2386/ Only the strong survive (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2386/ <p>There are some who would rather be loved, needed and depended on to give a love they cannot give. Than for them to be lonely. I just want‎ my days to go by easily. The world is filled with too much stress. There is no sense in creating mini struggles within ourselves. Though some might find it entertaining but I would rather watch the wind blow the leaves around than be a leaf blowing in the wind. Chaos is only fun while you have the strength to fight it.</p><p>I bought some CDs from a man selling used stuff by the side of the road - Music CDs. When buying anything used in Jamaica you have to wonder if they were stolen from someone with awful taste in music. They were cheap so I bought a couple that had the least scratches that could find. Old music CDs are like finding old pants that still fit; you know you shouldn&#039;t be wearing them but they will never let you down.</p><p>I bought a really expensive appliance recently because I became passionate about getting something good (watching online videos, doing research) as opposed to getting something affordable and common. I become annoyingly passionate about stuff at times but I get through most time, sometimes not. I have to pump my brakes because I fear that my passions are a ship made only to crash upon the rocks of disappointment. But I push through because when it comes down to it without fear, experience, drive and passion there is nothing. Bueaty and Nonsense.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2386/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Sun, 02 Jul 2017 17:21:28 -0500 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2384/ Dead Disco (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2384/ <p>I am churning through the year - words have become hard. 2 months so far and I am not even sure the year has even started. Well make that 4 months and another circle around the sun. Time makes you bolder for sure but I smarter? I do not know.</p><p>&quot;I will love till the end of time&quot; is probably all that I can promise nowadays as I walk through metal detectors. The words I said could be silver. I am still getting called weird alot and I am not sure about it or anything at all. Am I still loving in the wrong way? How can a man love like that? Tina Turner.</p><p>Most times I just want to go home and sleep away my troubles or do what I like. If you insert yourself into the struggle you might be setting up yourself for a war. I thought the point was for your days to go easy. What is anything worth, time, space, bueaty, monkeys, salvation, freedom and what are you willing to pay for it? What are you willing to give up. As I always say; if it makes you happy.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2384/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Wed, 21 Jun 2017 11:19:52 -0500 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2381/ Ruby (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2381/ <p>I am hyper aware of my own mortality, the number of branches that are in my tree. The world around me lives only by grace. We are not special. This has only gotten worse as I get older and my tolerance level has changed to the point where I have to see five steps down the road or I am not even going to jump on that train to hell that you are so passionate about.</p><p>Fools and charlatans are now growing out of the woodwork like a fungus, while I am simply trying to get through the day. A train to wreck. They say we should all strive to be like Jesus but I am a humble man; knowledge, wisdom and understanding are all I seek. I solve problems and time is money.</p><p>At some point in time you have to stop chasing society because you never really catch it. If a hand dem a bruk then you will have to pop necks to keep up, shake them down and break them like bread. There is no end, the more you have - the more you want and the more you give the more they take.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2381/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Sat, 20 May 2017 21:47:39 -0500 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2380/ Oceans (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2380/ <p>It has been roughly a month since I have written anything. Literally constipated does not even describe the state I am in. I have not been spreading my passions even. Allowed myself to be highly focused on an impossible mission while neglecting my numerous other pursuits. I must stop but I cannot like a monkey in a forest with infinite trees. Chaos reaching out and grabbing me by the neck.</p><p>You have to spend your life doing something. It is clearly obvious that nothing really matters and people are just building little world blankets in which to wrap themselves into while everything else burns by the heat of the sun. I am the king of my own little world and everyone else is wondering how much income tax I am charging my citizens. I am not charging them anything. I am just really bad at it. We are just chilling out here trying to find out the best way to escape or achieve ultimate knowledge, wisdom and understanding. Obviously we are not perfect and might never be.</p><p>I just had to push this one out, like a baby 3 months overdue. I have a splitting headache and I am not sure if its the words or the fact that I did not take my lunch time break to stare into the distance. I am almost done. Just another sentence. Publish or perish. I have a few unfinished trees which I need to climb but for now I will settle with just this one until I get the will to let go and move on.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2380/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Wed, 10 May 2017 16:52:52 -0500 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2366/ Panda (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2366/ <p>Lately I have tried but I have fallen into a group of people who have no opinions on anything at all. Idle chatter is the new hanging out on the corner. They never know what they are doing but know everything that they should have done had they had foresite enough to actually think about life in the present instead of going around talking in circles. Miss me wid dat.</p><p>In a world of limited reasources it all comes down to how much you are willing to sacrifice to get what you want. How deep are you willing to swim? The wars the you are willing to start in order to win the future and live forever. Why do you do it? Build a ship only to wreak it on the shore.</p><p>Its a wicked game. I have to be constantly aware that I do not know everything at every moment of the day. I might be forgetting to do something at this very moment as I type - the world may be on fire. Is this the way to love? But I must carry on, I must strive ever forward.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2366/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Thu, 23 Feb 2017 12:15:48 -0600