owenSoft.net - Logbook http://owensoft.net/ Odes to my coy mistress. Metaphysical poetry updated weekly. en http://owensoft.net http://owensoft.net/favicon.ico owenSoft.net http://owensoft.net/ Isle Of Bones (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2351/ <p>First day of my Christmas vacation was spent washing shirts so that I do not have to wash them when I come back. I have to avoid addictions, especially things that consume resources. I have to spend time away from it all. It does not help that the auto parts dealership across the road has been playing music the entire day. I have to clear my head and organise my holiday projects that I will attempt to finish - unlikely, but one must always keep striving for a better self - for completion.</p><p>A flood of 2017 Soca has once again graced my stereo. Will I spend another year listening to a hundred songs until I narrow down my list of favorites. Sometimes my focus gets the better of me. It is never as good as the first time. I will compare everything to 2015 because that is my reference point. A point of reference is like a corner stone.</p><p>Most things do not matter to me. The foolish wants of the inconsiderate. The whims of impatience. I have no time for temporary desires that sway back and forth like waves hitting the shoreline. There is precious little time in which you have to do the things you need to do. How you view the world and how the world views you are separate things. If you choose to stay inside your own box and cast your view onto the world and let it reflect that is your choice - you are only limiting you self by constantly asking the wrong questions.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2351/#comment">make a comment</a></p> 2016-12-17 08:06:56 Ride Like The Wind (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2350/ <p>Sometimes you can guess what I am up to but most times I am trying not to count my eggs before they hatch. Waiting in the tall grass. Of course there is nothing wrong with counting your eggs early but hope flies like a dove on the wind. Before long you will be dreaming of what you would do with all that money you win in the lottery.</p><p>Trigger words: eventually how you sound will be the only thing that people use to relate to each other on the internet. If one can maintain the cadence and are so fluent that they can become the physical embodiment of other people&#039;s worst nightmares - images painted on the wall of their mind - a sort of VR world running in parallel with reality. I am writing a script for a cyber punk movie called &quot;safe space&quot;. its going to be awesome.</p><p>Fear is a special feeling. Often uncontrollable like wind that follows you continuously swirling up and down the inner regions of your mind. Enclosed inside your skull. I think people need a outlet for their fears which is why we watch movies which are inflated versions of reality and look for bogeymen under our beds. Eventually the wind will engulf you and you and your fears will become one person. Let go.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2350/#comment">make a comment</a></p> 2016-12-15 07:24:51 Redemption Song (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2343/ <p>Money comes and goes. Either you have it or you survive as best you can and as long as you can without it. There are not enough resources in the world to fulfill the wants, needs or desires of every single person. You are not special. If there are 10 people in the room 2 of them are likely to be murderers or thieves. We all just ants in an ant hill trying to survive until the sun explodes. Pride comes before the fall.</p><p>It is often hard to differentiate between what we need and what we want. Everything is a soup of data, monkeys and configuration. The things we want will cloud the things we need like musical ringtones when you call a phone - who needs to hear music while you wait someone to pick up? ANSWER THE PHONE! You are wasting my time.</p><p>I bought some airfilters online. It cost me the same amount in taxes just to clear it at customs though cheaper than buying a plane ticket and flying to England to get them myself. Everything is slowly moving towards choas - especially cars. Cars are like your favourite cheesecake - it goes bad look at it for too long BUT you will have none to eat later if you eat it too quickly. There is some median rate at which you should eat cheese cake and still be able to enjoy it but I have yet to discover it.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2343/#comment">make a comment</a></p> 2016-11-22 09:15:10 Extreme Ways (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2342/ <p>Everyone appears to live in their own special version of the world. A world in which there is a constant need to re-affirm, to be part of the good group - social justice warriors. Somethings you have to let go in order to live. Eventually everything melts into one or two streams of thought, battling each other in a war which both sides end up losing. This would be simple if it were just one world but the more you know - the older you get - the more sides you see. We are constantly battling between different sides of a complicated shell that you cannot see. Until you pull the earth around you and make it your bed. At which point nothing matters.</p><p>There is a point where no one can agree on anything because their view is rooted in their own experiences or things they hear - there is no big picture. No substance of reality. No monkey in the tree. It is all the sound of leaves coming from the mouth of someone that heard them. How much tooth paste should you put on your toothbrush? Are your teeth absorbing calcium? Is toothpaste merely a foaming agent? Are toothpaste advertisements purposely making me use more toothpaste so that I buy more? Are you building a ship to wreak upon the shore?</p><p>In the end it might not matter. It might be a case that we are just flying though space hoping that we survive long enough to actually achieve something significant. Interesting times. You think of the worst things in the world, things that you are afraid to even utter; then you step back and you will see that it is really not that bad at all.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2342/#comment">make a comment</a></p> 2016-11-15 12:17:37 Anthem (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2330/ <p>The things that I do not &quot;like&quot; keep me on a path. Control is a strong word. I would rather say they are the rudder that guides my ship. No regrets.  Some people like ice cream even though it makes them sick. I am the kind of person who would find a better alternative than icecream so that I can redirect my efforts towards something less likely to kill me. Why torture yourself with barriers and wants?  I am not one to make excuses but I will avoid.   What I cannot avoid permanently I carefully build a tower around.‎ It is not personal. I am not a flower waiting to blossom.<br />‎<br />‎Some people spend their time trying to separate ‎themselves from themselves. Searching for something to hold onto. Trying to go platinum with no features. I have realized long ago that I am apart of the big machinery of life. It is more apparent as I get older that we are retracing the steps of our fathers, mothers, sisters and brothers.   We are the sum of the things we give away.</p><p>I have come up on another challenge.  I can only imagine that I will overcome it at some point and be able to look back and not remember how it all happened because I forget at times. Minor details about the small steps that you take are hard for me to document or keep track of. Like a monkey swinging from tree to tree won&#039;t remember every leaf or branch that passes by. Quick thinking and reflexes or fall to your death. Pride goeth before destruction.‎</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2330/#comment">make a comment</a></p> 2016-10-05 09:17:42 Telling stories (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2322/ <p>‎One thing I have learnt from the sea is that if you want lots of random smooth rocks you have no choice but to keep pounding the shoreline. Forever. In a constant rhythm.   It helps that the ocean is gigantic and endless.‎ The ocean is bigger than all your problems, and even the problems that you create yourself for other people.<br />‎<br />I realize that you want to feel special like creating a world within a world which is unique and different from anything else that has ever existed for billions of years before now.‎  Some things are bigger than the things you want.  I have gone to great lengths to down play my specialties. My existence in this time and place, now, going forward is a cautious trod through a minefield of which I am very aware.   I am aware of the things I do not like and the things that wake me up in a cold sweat at night.  I bare them only for a time. There are things that I do not want to learn.</p><p>I try to not be too introspective in my writings lately but it is hard when I am not sure which direction my compass is heading. The future belongs to no man. I try. If you do not know me by now then you probably never will.   I keep a log of the things I might forget because I surely will. It is not that I do not care to remember but mostly because there is so much to do, so much to learn and so little time is which to experience it all.‎ I do not want to burden you with promises - a comfort.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2322/#comment">make a comment</a></p> 2016-09-14 08:15:56 Dust is gone (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2309/ <p>‎I have been keeping a low profile since Cuba. What is life without experiences. Life is ever changing. People say that in the future these experiences might be useful but I am not so sure. I think people lie and steal. Most people do not know what they want until it is too late to change any of it.‎<br />‎<br />I am behind on my personal projects. There is not enough time in the day and even less now‎ that I am older. The older I get the more aware I am of ‎my own mortality. Everyone has a story. Everything is in transition from one state t‎o another. I may not be here tommorow or next week. Arguing over small details is pointless. I need to learn to let go of the things that truly do not matter.<br />‎<br />‎Things only come back into perspective when I go to my favorite place and watch people while I each lunch.   Old people digging into their bags for expired credit cards. Basic school kids on a day field trip playing musical chairs in the food court.‎ A Chinese family spoon feeding their baby. Old friends in conversation.  Interns looking for the best place to sit where they can be most visible in case they spot someone they knew from high school. For some people this a stop on a long highway. For others this is thier daily routine until they can escape. For me I am just capturing the moment.‎</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2309/#comment">make a comment</a></p> 2016-07-30 20:25:06 Unforgettable (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2301/ <p>I did promise that I was going to be less cynical, going forward, but it is hard. Really, really hard. The whole world is full of fire, half asses and people who like to <br />waste your time. I was listening to this program on radio this morning while I was trying not to get killed by someone texting while driving. The program was about a tech-company in africa who is tackling the water shortage and sanitation problem by providing a app that people can use to make complaints to thier water commission. This cutting edge technology is going to save the world.</p><p>I still get a strange feeling whenever I lose something. Annoyance and sadness are emotions that are the base of my existence. I should be better at this by now, like a monkey. Even though I should not be envious of evil people, I am still weary of the life which we live, the give and the take, the pointlessness. I prefer comfort over any other state of being. All the world is a stage. I desire nothing but comfort.</p><p>I should learn to disregard the things that do not matter. 80/20. Cast aside the things that are material, not necessary, a warm blanket over beautiful skin, desires. I should not want to fall in love with anything. No time for regret. All is here for a time.<br /></p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2301/#comment">make a comment</a></p> 2016-06-15 12:07:26 Trouble (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2279/ <p>Somewhere at some place in time my favorite 90s alternative rock song is playing but I am not there to hear it. All that exists is the moment in which you stand. The now, and then.‎   There may be things in the future but only on my todo list.   Sing with me just for today.  Wallow in your emotions of now, in your little corner. If it makes you happy?</p><p>‎It is a foreign feeling to be in a foreign country with a foreign language.   A place that doan know my name.  Down any street you walk by people going about their business while I watch and wait. Party like it&#039;s 1999. Soon it will be time to go home and all I will have are suveniers of a foriegn feeling in a foreign place in time.</p><p>‎There are some experiences that you can only have once. Experiences that live with you forever and float out into space like beams of light. It is too bad that there is no way to transfer these experiences to other people. Maybe other people would not want to be troubled with your stale experiences. So why do anything at all?‎</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2279/#comment">make a comment</a></p> 2016-04-23 19:54:17 Untouchable Face (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2278/ <p>It is the spring and the ants have come out in thier numbers as if I had put up a &quot;for-rent&quot; sign on a luxury apartment - breakfast included. Time does make you bolder. No habla espanol. There is absolutely nowhere that you can leave an empty wrapper that they won&#039;t find in a matter of minutes. Tu Como? I came home to find them eating tomato ketchup. Now it is all out war.</p><p>I started watching Netflix the other day. The thing with netflix is that I have already watched all the movies on cable and I am not interested in watching seasons that tell the same stories over and over; the indecisive hero, the outlaw, the complicated mass murder or the man with a secret past. I like that it allows me to watch old movies but Dey-ja-vu is not an experience that like to wallow in. I am sticking with cable.</p><p>I am also going to try to reduce my tendency to be a killjoy. I realize that people NEED an escape from reality and they do not want someone constantly reminding them of the speed of light, time and physics. I am going to live in the moment of your lack of objectivity. Ignorance is bliss. Somethings make us human and one is that we do not share the same reality in our heads. Our perspective on things that matter and things that are important are not aligned to any kind of axis. Things intersect, converge, collide and change in the real and in our minds and everything will be fine in the future.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2278/#comment">make a comment</a></p> 2016-04-08 15:25:30 Go Outside (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2276/ <p>I have no idea what I want to do for my birthday which is not unsual. Birthdays for me are a constant yearly reminder than I am not young anymore and that all the things in my head are memories of a state in a time of a place where which why once was then how. I head to a point in time, I reach quickly then I am glad that it is over but miss the old days, only to find a new destination but heading is slow and nothing ever completes. The slow life is a cycle.</p><p>I have realised that most people are just kids inside old bones. They all want the same things that they wanted as a child and the world is just not letting them go outside and play in the rain. Not a care in the world.</p><p>If there was one thing I would hope other people would understand about me is that I am only good at a few things. Hell is other people. Obsessions. The few things are not interchangeable. They cannot be swapped out and replaced like words in a picture, seasons in a year. I am not a seed in the desert hoping for rain. A flower waiting to bloom. Life ain&#039;t always what it seems. The speed of light.<br /></p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2276/#comment">make a comment</a></p> 2016-03-23 10:36:51 Life me up (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2274/ <p>‎I have learnt that there is no way to alleviate someone&#039;s deepest fears.‎ Monkeys and buses.  There is nothing you can do about the shadow behind them as they walk along the bank of a river.   A fear of the future is likened to a fear of physics itself. Fearing the earth rotating around the sun. A fear of gravity.  The law of conservation of energy. Entropy. The constant march towards choas. The speed of light. These things are certain. Hold on to them.</p><p>Everyday is a near death situation. If it&#039;s not H1N1 then something else will get you. You never know. You might wake up one morning with a small head or pain that is never over.‎ Weed is my only friend. I am not negative I just understand the problem more that you do. I spend more time thinking it over - so I have instant answer. My faith is real, yours are enthusiasm. Every story has 2 sides.</p><p>‎No use waiting around for bad shit to happen. I broke both of my favorite Rayban sun glasses in the same week I must be lucky or the devil may have it out for me or God is teaching me a lesson. I don&#039;t know but I bought a new pair and a replacement band for my watch so that I can tell the time. If I find a small enough screwdriver I could remove the arms from the old glasses and attach them to the new one so that I can be transcendent.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2274/#comment">make a comment</a></p> 2016-03-12 19:19:48 Howlin´ for you (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2270/ <p>I finally found the bug in one of my pet projects that I had been working on over the Christmas. Now I can move on to other things that want to kill me slowly. I have come to rely on the skills of others rather than thier hopes and dreams. I am older now, I cannot spend all my time working on hobby projects - as much as I would like. I need to focus but focus is hard when the world is filled with people posting dumb articles that surmount to nothing more than a pile of ransid leaves.</p><p>My words elude me. I have not written anything since like the year has started - even. I keep thinking that this may be the last time. But life goes on so I write because I must. I must soldier on because at least at my funeral there will be not shortage of reference literature from which to draw from in order to bring forth a gracious speech or at least an essay. I hate funerals, going away parties, do not invite me - I will not attend.</p><p>My birthday is fast approaching. I have resolved that music CDs are the only thing that can make me happy. Jah alone can give I satisfaction. I have renewed my passport and I have no idea what I am going to do with it. The year 2015 came to an end just when I was beginning to like it. It seems the best part of the year is the period after your birthday like going down a hill with no breaks at full speed. weee! I am good at being uncomfortable.<br /></p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2270/#comment">make a comment</a></p> 2016-02-12 14:51:00 Pressure (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2265/ <p>The irony of life is that you might never know what actually ends up killing you to death. It could be that time you forgot to brush your teeth before going to bed. Or that extra cupcake you had at the Christmas office party. It could be that sermon on the mount that left you so stressed out that a blood clot developed in a major artery.   It could be words that you never said - constipation.‎ Red peas.</p><p>‎There is a third level of understanding where you can see a problem and choose not to solve it - just to leave it alone. Live and let die. In a life of solving problems and looking beyond the wall. Maybe it is a learned form of skepticism. Knowing that there might be things that I cannot solve so I just avoid all discussion of it for fear of stopping. Though stopping is certain. No one wants to stop right now. So we continue on the simpler problems until the real hard problems unravel themselves. Maybe it is a form of patience.</p><p>It&#039;s been a long dry Christmas but the rain finally fell today. If only for a short while. I can feel the cold breeze on my skin and smell the scent of rain - whatever rain smells like, I am not really sure. But I am alive. We are alive. For another year.   It&#039;s been fun, annoying but fun.‎ Happy New Year.<br /></p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2265/#comment">make a comment</a></p> 2015-12-31 10:46:37 Delilah (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2259/ <p>I could have used a different title but I find that articles written in that formate are a waste of the reader&#039;s time. Half-truths and entertainment. They are usually written by &quot;writers&quot; with no experience with the subject matter, merely mimicking established memes like a gear rotating on an axis. R&amp;B songs. Leaves floating on the surface. Over and over in a harmony. A Never changing drum beat. BS. Holding on for their cause. It is pointless to keep dragging these things around in a world where we have so much choice?</p><p>I got a new CD, new music. A CD is a piece of plastic that you put into your radio and it spins. I am really loving it. The songs play in a set order and are at really high quality. I could die tomorrow and I would have been glad to have lived to this point. I am trying hard to be humble as you can see. Maybe I am lazy, maybe I am not. Sometimes I am happy, sometimes I am not. I can only be one person at a time. What will I be tomorrow? </p><p>I sometimes spend my time doing things to keep my brain occupied because I cannot live on love alone. Its not all about making money. I have to keep searching and swimming around in my own world hoping to find the answer. I do not worry about what will be around the corner tomorrow or what someone may have left around there yesterday. All I know is that you only have one life to live and limited choices in living it, the best you can - in the time you can. No regrets. No crosses to bare. No crosses given.<br /></p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2259/#comment">make a comment</a></p> 2015-12-15 10:33:21